Beloveds, so much change here. I know, each of you has something else going..
Do not get me wrong, I am pretty happy with this one life. I bought into the idea of living out of the system. It is partially an illusion and I can see many reasons as to why. But it is important, this sort of resistances are important, even if they come from a smaller amount of the population.
But now it is my time to retire from it. Soon I'll be 39. I know I will have challenges incorporating into the system, yet it is not black or white and I am going to find my gray to belong.
In the end, solutions appear as one is moving. Like that tiny house on the mountain in Croatia, it wouldn't have appeared, haven't I asked for it.
It is so difficult for me to gain clarity and do the right things but perhaps I am already in there, doing them.
I will continue making art and training and visiting nature and trying to create an income. I will be more active and focused. I am not sure how this project with the municipality is now going to evolve but I see how I am again doing that same thing - gathering my energy and spreading it around, instead of reserving it for my own business, I have this strong wish to give to the world, but perhaps it isn't the time ?
Perhaps I need to give to myself more, to water my garden. It was nice how I believed it possible, everything is beautiful. But I am tired. I want routine and stability to focus, as there is no frame other than what I make myself.
I haven't given up, I am having an afternoon coffee and reflecting.
But now it is my time to retire from it. Soon I'll be 39. I know I will have challenges incorporating into the system, yet it is not black or white and I am going to find my gray to belong.
In the end, solutions appear as one is moving. Like that tiny house on the mountain in Croatia, it wouldn't have appeared, haven't I asked for it.
It is so difficult for me to gain clarity and do the right things but perhaps I am already in there, doing them.
I will continue making art and training and visiting nature and trying to create an income. I will be more active and focused. I am not sure how this project with the municipality is now going to evolve but I see how I am again doing that same thing - gathering my energy and spreading it around, instead of reserving it for my own business, I have this strong wish to give to the world, but perhaps it isn't the time ?
Perhaps I need to give to myself more, to water my garden. It was nice how I believed it possible, everything is beautiful. But I am tired. I want routine and stability to focus, as there is no frame other than what I make myself.
I haven't given up, I am having an afternoon coffee and reflecting.
