I'm sorry for being a bummer lately and eventually I'll snap out of it but

I really hate my life here. I really tried my absolute best to make a life for myself but I'm just too disorganized and everything is too expensive, now I'm stuck still living with my parents who blame me for it because they and everybody else around me assumes that anyone who doesn't have money and independence is directly at fault for it, and any grace they receive is taking advantage of hard working American citizens.

The only people who tell me anything different are people online from other countries, which—from my point of view—really does make me wonder if all the people around me in my real life are correct and I'm just a piece of shit who is a burden to society.

I know someone from overseas who tells me that I deserve everything I have because I'm a human being like anyone else but that is not what people around me in my real, physical life say. Every day I feel like a leech who is just not capable of doing anything useful and doesn't deserve any form of kindness or material wellbeing.

I don't know who is right and who is wrong. And at the end of the day it actually doesn't even matter because things are the way they are—I don't seem to be capable of surviving here and nobody cares. It is considered my fault and that is that.