Of all the remixes of Tove Lo…

@GoldnJulz I grew up with a father that drank a lot. If it was beer then he would become nice and lovey, if he drank hard liquor, he became mean and nasty, and it always led to physical abuse. My mother only stopped him once in a liquor rage on a Christmas Eve as his drunken brother egged him on to beat me his 8-year-old son because I told my uncle he was white trash. I was bleeding out both nostrils, my mouth and both ears by the time my mother and my uncle's wife ran down into the basement to stop it only because my younger brother ran upstairs to tell them. I obviously grew to hate my uncle and any kind of drinking; I could never relate it to any kind of fun.

Even though early 1970's I looked so bad once school started, I was kept home for a week post-Christmas and New Year's Eve Break. At age 15 I physically stopped the beatings myself and pledge to beat my uncle senselessly bloody if he ever gave me the chance.

Sorry I never could see drinking being related to fun for me. Not that I have not been drunk before everyone is stupid and few times in their lives, but just not something I equated to fun for me.

@WillaKissing I am so sorry you had to experience such mistreatment and abuse. It would natural to not enjoy anything that involves alcohol if you had such a past. I have alcoholism in my family as well. I grew more cautious of alcohol as I grew older. In my teens I was a late bloomer and I was very naive when it came to drinking and drugs. I had an uncle who served time in one of the worst prisons in the state and likely the country. I actually remember the time he took the entire family on my mom’s side out to a fancy restaurant in the city. He was an attorney at the time and he is ten years older than my mom and has always been the black sheep of the family. My dad was suspicious of this action. It was less than a year after that night when we heard the news. He was arrested for allegedly selling cocaine to an undercover police officer. He was trying to sell so much that the judge in his trial sentenced him to 10 years in the prison. My parents were very transparent about the situation with me and to a lesser degree my younger sister. They were livid about it too because it could have affected my dad’s career and he had just been promoted. Fortunately he has never been negatively impacted by the stupidity and transgressions of my mom’s brother or her father who was an alcoholic who frequently drove drunk. He wrecked more cars than I’ll ever know. In one accident he hit something with his car while my grandmother was in the passenger seat. She was injured fairly badly but he never spoke about it being his fault. Another time he totaled his Mercedes on the way home from his social club. Almost all the accidents were on the way home from his country club or his social club. And he was a very successful businessman who had the money to buy a brand new top of the line Mercedes Benz again. I think he got special treatment from people who either looked the other way or played dumb when it came to assigning responsibility. I know my parents weren’t in that group. I heard that my paternal grandfather had a drinking problem as well. I never saw it because my parents forbid him and his second wife from coming around me as a baby. And they cleaned up and never drank again. All of his birthday party BBQs had to be dry and not because he didn’t have willpower but because his step sons who obviously weren’t blood relatives had a problem with everything alcohol included. The only day of the year that my grandfather would tolerate his stepsons being around was his own birthday. I’m not sure why but it was just his way. These guys and their gfs and wives had always been bad. My dad has stories of the stupid things that they did. They had no problem convincing their mother that they were fine upstanding people but my mom and dad knew better. I heard a story about the time they decided to start a business making candles. It was the early 1970s and they made these hanging candles that were made with some sort of rope to hang from the ceiling and the wax part was enormous. They were actually using the candles as a container for drugs that they were trying to smuggle from one place to another. I don’t remember how they were caught but they were. I don’t think they were punished enough because they didn’t stop doing stupid stuff.
By the 90’s they were into meth which was very popular in the rural areas that they lived in. All but one of them is now dead. And one of their sons who is less than 5 years older than me has a massive record. I know my dad saw them for what they were from the beginning. They actually spent every single dollar they inherited from the mysterious and suspicious death of their biological father on drugs and booze. I have heard the stories about their trips to other countries like Thailand where they did stuff that could have gotten them into serious legal trouble with the government who doesn’t take drug usage lightly and even gives out the death penalty for it. My

I have a cousin on my moms side who had such a bad heroin addiction that he actually went into homelessness in one of the worst cities in the country for an addict to be in. The fentanyl is so prevalent and available that he likely never had to go without. Recently we heard that he was living with a woman who had a child and they were both still using until she must’ve gotten into trouble. Apparently she was investigated by child welfare authorities and was given an ultimatum that she would have to get clean and stay clean or lose her child. I know my cousin had been accepted into a methadone program in his past. And I’m pretty sure that the woman he was living with had similar experience. Apparently he had a bad relapse after she had gotten clean or cleaner. She kicked him out because he could have gotten her child removed from her custody. When I heard that he was back to living out of his car and back to full time using I thought he probably wouldn’t last much longer and there have been times in the past 15-20 years where nobody even knew he was still alive. I can’t imagine what that would be like for him and for his father and brother. Unfortunately his mom has already written him off as she remarried to a man who forced her to forget her past. It’s a sad situation for my cousins but it’s not an excuse to be a drug addict. Their dad is not helpful because he has given my addict cousin advances on his inheritance. He’s in a denial state. He just can’t admit it. But the strangest news broke just a few weeks ago that my cousin had 5 months sober and was doing a lot better. Both I and my parents are shocked because nobody thought he could turn it around. The last time I saw him was at least 20 years ago and he immediately asked me if I had any prescription pain medication that he could have to keep from going into withdrawal because he wanted to come to Thanksgiving dinner. I told him that I no longer had any. I’m pretty sure that he would break into any house that he thought might have some. Only time will tell.
But getting back to the original topic of alcohol. I have been very cautious about alcohol because my maternal grandfather ended up with alcohol induced dementia. I think I was still in my 20’s when he no longer even remembered my name or recognized me as a family member. I had always worried that I could have the same genetics that would make me an alcoholic. Unfortunately my younger cousin on my mother’s side of the family has the genetic predisposition to being an alcoholic. In the past 2-3 years he has amassed 3-4 DUIs and has totaled his own car twice and someone else’s car once. Luckily he has not injured or killed anyone. My parents were really disappointed because they had been trying to help him with the stresses and struggles in his life. He surprised everyone when he became a cardiologist tech as he never went to college and had numerous learning disabilities. Unfortunately his success is marred by his inability to learn from his previous mistakes. It will be interesting to see how things go during this coming holiday season as my parents host all the dinners and have tolerated his decision to drink sparingly as he always took an Uber when he indulged. The last time he attended their 4th of July party he had a lot to drink and didn’t bother saying goodbye when he left by Uber. It was only a few weeks later that my parents were visiting his father (my moms youngest brother) in the hospital after heart surgery and they learned about the most recent DUI and totaling of the nice new car he had just purchased. It really devastated them because they now realized that he had 4 large glasses of whiskey and they were only going to serve beer and wine which they think he also consumed. It just made it very clear that he has a serious problem with alcohol. And they don’t think they will ever let him have anything alcoholic ever again.
I understand how other peoples drinking can influence your own decision to consume alcohol.

@GoldnJulz That is a very sad life for those family members of yours. And it all boils down to what we decided to indulge in, and the consequences of the indulgence. My condolences to your family.

I am extremely proud that you observed and took your own measures not to fall victim to alcohol.

Thank you,
Willa