What do you think of this song I wrote? (Not me singing or drumming, I just wrote and played the music)

Honest, harsh opinions appreciated please[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftw7y-1sU4Y]

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xixgun · M

[i]The lyrics work[/i], but who in the hell told that guy he could sing? Also, a 43 second intro is unnecessary (it's not Pink Floyd, after all).

Jaydo1ph · 46-50, M

@xixgun Totally man. Thank you. He is a brilliant lyricist.. Can't carry a tune in a bucket though. That's the big reason the band fell apart.