Jerry asked Tim, “Is a squirrel monkey a good pet?”

Tim replied, “No, you moron. Squirrel monkeys make terrible pets.” Jerry looked hurt. “Why do you have to be like that, Tim? Is it because I fucked your sister? Now answer the question before I kick you in the shins.”

Tim took out a knife, and held it to Jerry’s neck. “Okay, you bastard. They are wild, highly intelligent primates with complex social and physical needs that are practically impossible to replicate in a home environment. Caring for one is extremely difficult, time-consuming, and often illegal depending on where you live.”

Jerry, laughed and wriggled away. “Well, happy birthday to you, Dickhead” as he opened a brown bag and tossed a squirrel monkey at Tim’s face.