Can you imagine the looks you would get if your real name was Ashley Madison?

@iamonfire696 Yeah....we all have done stupid things....I don't like when people suffer even for things they've done....

@originnone I have done stupid shit too but I own it

@iamonfire696 Here's my issue....Over 37 years of marriage, I know that a marriage has to overcome a million things...infidelity is bad, but I think it's too easy to walk away from a marriage because of it....Then everyone suffers immeasurably. People criticize me for my...future plans, but they'll destroy a family because getting through it would be too hard....

@originnone I think it depends on the people involved. Some people can’t overcome that and the trust is just gone.

I understand why people cheat, humans are very complex. I don’t judge because I don’t know what’s going on in a marriage.

My dad cheated on my mom when I was 12. I hated him for it. I got older and I looked at the whole picture, gained perspective and I understood why he did.

They finally separated when I was 26. My dad was always very angry, he’s not so angry anymore.

As for your plan, I hate it and I have told you why.

@iamonfire696 That's an impossible thing for a 12 year old to go through. I've often wondered how I would have responded if one of my parents had done that....or one had hit the other. I guess I think those actions are normally symptoms of a greater issue than the actions themselves....

Full disclosure....I used to be a part time therapist...I worked with a married couple. The guy seemed to use his wife's infidelity as his excuse...like he was dying to leave and could now blame her....I'm sure I have some countertransference still....

@originnone You know my dad’s infidelity was just a small blip on all the bad things in my childhood.

My mom was an alcoholic and she would take her frustrations out on me when I would get in trouble. She was an alcoholic because she was molested by a man from the age of 2 to 15 years old. As she got older he started giving her alcohol.

One of the reasons I have no love for my mother is because she never told anyone about this and I would get left with that man alone on my grandpas’s farm when I was young from 5 to 8 years old. She didn’t protect me from him. You can guess what happened.

So yah, my dad cheating was relatively small.

I remember you mentioning that you were a therapist. I can understand why you would have countertransference.

@iamonfire696 That's so terrible. It's almost too hard to read about....I'm so sorry....

@originnone it is what it is.

Want to know the most fucked up thing about all of this. The man that did that to me, lives across the street from me.

When I look out my front window, I can see him in his yard. I wish I was making this up but I am not.

And I bought the house knowing he lived there because I knew it would bother my mother the most 🙃.

@iamonfire696 Well, every time he looks across the street, he has to face what he did....

@originnone Exactly, he goes back in his house when I make it uncomfortable for him and stare.