I watched Sleeping With The Enemy

Everything happened so fast in that movie but I could relate to the lady in that film.

I've never been married but my father could get violent when he was angry. He's a very controlling and short tempered man.

There's a scene where Julia Roberts is on a bus ride talking with a stranger about her situation that I could relate to.

Every time I stayed with my father, I often had a bag of my belongings packed and ready to go in case things got scary and unhinged.

I sometimes wonder how my mom felt when she first left my father. My father hated it if my mom had her own job and money back then.

So when my mother left, she didn't have much. For about 2 years, she stayed with a friend and struggled.

She's doing much better now thankfully. She's saving up to buy a house. And she's much more careful about who she picks as a romantic partner (understandably so) and I'm all for it. But she's much older now and tells me she's likely not gonna search anymore. I don't blame her. She doesn't have anyone in the country but me and my brothers. I'm gonna give her a cash gift here in a couple of months.

She's my mother and I love her.

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Monalisasmith86 · 41-45, F

You should forgive your father he was young , you don’t get a manual script on how to parent even if there such things they don’t always work it’s not like he sexually abused you or hit you ok

kittee · 22-25

@Monalisasmith86 why should she, he is his own man, its his fault,

Monalisasmith86 · 41-45, F

@kittee because you only get one father unless he’s got a good step father

HermannFegelein · 26-30, M

@Monalisasmith86 actually, about that. He did hit us a lot back then.

My mom and my oldest brother got the worst of it. My earliest memory of my father is watching him beat my oldest brother in the kitchen and making him bleed. He was crying and covering his face with fear in his eyes.

My mother once asked one of my brothers to call the police when he started hitting her in the kitchen.

He's hit me before too. Kicks, face smackings, ear yanking, picked me up and threw me across my room, punching holes in the wall.

A few times, my father would throw his dinner plate at my mom or the wall when it didn't come out the way he wanted it. He'd smash his fists on the table demanding that she hurry up with cooking.

I understand the power of forgiveness. But that's gonna happen on my watch. In time I'll be ready. But first I need some space and time away from him. I'm doing my part by trying to understand him more. I'm asking my aunts and uncles what my grandpa was like. From what I hear, he was harsher.