51-55, F
I am not here to be your friend
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mljenkins · 51-55, F
4/27/2020
Today I feel like I have too much faith in a flawed system. That is not to say that change is not possible, it is just going to take a really long time.
I see that people are ultimately out to serve themselves, especially when they think that they have as many chances as they may need. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly believe in 2nd chances, and even 3rd, 4th, and even 5 chances to get it right in this life. What I cannot get past is that completely sane people are participating in actions that make them appear insane. Only in that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." I whole-heartedly believe in that definition and am tired of all the insanity, nor do I long to watch it destroy itself.
I see my God as my creator and without him, I could not exist in this world. He has powers to save, but make no mistake, he also holds the power to send a wrath so terrifying that man shall wish he was dead. I even say unto my creator, "God, I apologize for blindly going forward in my life, but being to naive to let them go." Even after they have shown their true colors, I know, without a doubt in my mind that this world will not let me go and I am a prisoner here.
I know that you guide me in my life, I am thankful for every coincident/BLESSING that you give me in my life. Thank you for the gifts you have given me, especially the gift of truth, where ever it may lead me or how it is presented to me. I have the unique ability to see past all the bullshit in this life. It hurts sometimes to allow myself to be so utterly disappointed. I accept that if I remain in the insanity of this life, I would rather leave it all behind and start a new journey that does not include this world. I know that if it is meant to be, the opportunity will present itself and I will be able to leave. I thank you everyday for guiding me in my life. I do not depend on you completely, while you will always
live in my heart, I know that my life means nothing if I do not have you in it. I also know that I must do my part after you get me there. Thank you for the intelligence I have been able to retain to ensure my survival in a barren land that I can make my home with the beautiful family that you have blessed me with.
Surely ANGELS are real. Whether I truly am one on some level existence, which does not include my current level. The past fades, but is not forgotten. I am moving forward into the future, wherever it may lead. Thank you GOD, for giving me this life. I am all that you allow and want me to be, I am your vessel, the world to see your love in me.
Today I feel like I have too much faith in a flawed system. That is not to say that change is not possible, it is just going to take a really long time.
I see that people are ultimately out to serve themselves, especially when they think that they have as many chances as they may need. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly believe in 2nd chances, and even 3rd, 4th, and even 5 chances to get it right in this life. What I cannot get past is that completely sane people are participating in actions that make them appear insane. Only in that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." I whole-heartedly believe in that definition and am tired of all the insanity, nor do I long to watch it destroy itself.
I see my God as my creator and without him, I could not exist in this world. He has powers to save, but make no mistake, he also holds the power to send a wrath so terrifying that man shall wish he was dead. I even say unto my creator, "God, I apologize for blindly going forward in my life, but being to naive to let them go." Even after they have shown their true colors, I know, without a doubt in my mind that this world will not let me go and I am a prisoner here.
I know that you guide me in my life, I am thankful for every coincident/BLESSING that you give me in my life. Thank you for the gifts you have given me, especially the gift of truth, where ever it may lead me or how it is presented to me. I have the unique ability to see past all the bullshit in this life. It hurts sometimes to allow myself to be so utterly disappointed. I accept that if I remain in the insanity of this life, I would rather leave it all behind and start a new journey that does not include this world. I know that if it is meant to be, the opportunity will present itself and I will be able to leave. I thank you everyday for guiding me in my life. I do not depend on you completely, while you will always
live in my heart, I know that my life means nothing if I do not have you in it. I also know that I must do my part after you get me there. Thank you for the intelligence I have been able to retain to ensure my survival in a barren land that I can make my home with the beautiful family that you have blessed me with.
Surely ANGELS are real. Whether I truly am one on some level existence, which does not include my current level. The past fades, but is not forgotten. I am moving forward into the future, wherever it may lead. Thank you GOD, for giving me this life. I am all that you allow and want me to be, I am your vessel, the world to see your love in me.