I'm so conflicted rn

i'm not 100% certain i'm a sociopath but i have a stand out event that makes me think i might be.My brother died and i did not feel much. deep down within me i kinda felt he deserved it as some karma or shit cause he had a very bad source of living.
this coupled with a lot of other experiences and the fact that my auto response to anything is to react to it logically and not emotionally
i'm bored all the fucking time.
I use people to cure the boredom all the time. i have friends[quite a lot. i can be charmy if i want to. which is mostly when i'm bored] but no real friends
and i dont have any moral dillema for all the points raised above
fuck i'm a sociopath😔

i dont even know what i expect from posting this but do you guys have any advise going forward?.

Motzu

antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) can be treated through a related illeness such as anxiety or impulse control. You'll need to see a therapist for that.

You can also invest in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). You can get texts with workbooks on this, lots online.