I Am a Sociopath
I didn't write anything the other day and I almost didn't again tonight.
I have had some interesting conversations the last few days that make me just shake my head at people.
One of the first things a Sociopath learns is how to blend back in to society. I worked for years on this skill. I can read body language and speech/typing patterns well enough to emulate empathy in 95% of life situations. I still have a few situations where I show through pretty easily. Mostly those dealing with guilt.
I have also worked for years on controlling, re-thinking, and filtering my thoughts and actions to appear even more normal. So when you say that I'm clearly not a Sociopath because <insert cause here> it means I'm doing a damn good job of blending in. Thanks.
And lastly I have worked hard on how to describe my thoughts and actions in a way that a normal person can understand them. I use the terms Mask, Filter and Monster alot. My unfiltered thoughts are the Monster. My thoughts then the pass through the Filter of what I see as normal. And the Mask is what people publicly see and interact with... Even here, this is all through the filter.
With the holiday season on the way, I will let the Monster lose. I'll embrace the sociopath that I am and enjoy the work. That is when you'll see me write without the filter in place.
I have had some interesting conversations the last few days that make me just shake my head at people.
One of the first things a Sociopath learns is how to blend back in to society. I worked for years on this skill. I can read body language and speech/typing patterns well enough to emulate empathy in 95% of life situations. I still have a few situations where I show through pretty easily. Mostly those dealing with guilt.
I have also worked for years on controlling, re-thinking, and filtering my thoughts and actions to appear even more normal. So when you say that I'm clearly not a Sociopath because <insert cause here> it means I'm doing a damn good job of blending in. Thanks.
And lastly I have worked hard on how to describe my thoughts and actions in a way that a normal person can understand them. I use the terms Mask, Filter and Monster alot. My unfiltered thoughts are the Monster. My thoughts then the pass through the Filter of what I see as normal. And the Mask is what people publicly see and interact with... Even here, this is all through the filter.
With the holiday season on the way, I will let the Monster lose. I'll embrace the sociopath that I am and enjoy the work. That is when you'll see me write without the filter in place.
41-45, M
