I Am a Psychopath

Torturing And/or Killing Animals...
One thing I never understood was the predisposition psychopaths have in their early childhood to torturing/killing animals...
Personally, I never had the urge to. Not because I felt bad for them, but I think it's because they can't understand what's happening to them. Same thing goes with infants and mentally retarded individuals; if you look an animal or a baby in the eye and say "okay, now I'm gonna stab you in the face with this spoon!" you're not going to get any reaction from them...just a stupid stare.

Now, I can understand the feeling of control one derives from killing something/anything, but for me it was just never enough to actually make me go out of my way to do it. For me, knowledge of the world around me and the comprehension of it is essential, so putting an animal through torture seems to me a waste of time if the thing can't understand what's being done to it.

Maybe those of you who have experienced the drive behind it can better explain. I'm honestly, yet respectfully, stumped.

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PMurinus

It's also important to note that sadism isn't the only reason behind torturing and killing anyway. Curiosity (what do its insides look like?), humor (look at the noise it makes!), and sheer boredom can lead to it as well.

Rage21 · F

Your comments have been insightful, I can see how modifying an animals behavior by intimidation can be humurous. You speak of different reasons Psychopaths kill and torture animals; which would you say best explains you when you behave(d) this way?

PMurinus

When I was a child, it was mostly a combination of curiosity and just not having a very good conception of the fact that animals are rather less fun to play with dead than alive. It took a few times of being disappointed with the fact that I didn't have the animal anymore for me to start being cautious about what I was doing to them. I later even graduated to deciding that animals that hate you aren't that much fun long-term, either -- at least when compared to those that DON'T constantly try to maul you.

I also have a tendency to fidget with things that I have in my hands, and I've torn apart especially fragile animals in this way while lost in thought.

Besides the mild sort of harassment that's not too unusual for people to engage in, I've only behaved actually sadistically toward animals a few times, and every time I was frustrated about something else and in need of an outlet. Power isn't just thrilling to me; it's very calming, especially if I'm feeling threatened or angry because of a lack of power I have in another situation.

PMurinus

You know, reflecting on that last bit, I imagine that animal torture is a lot more common in 'explosive' type psychopaths than 'charismatic' types, given the lack of impulse control. That might be why you have trouble understanding, if you are the latter. I am somewhere in between the two, unfortunately

PMurinus

.... I slightly regret my open acknowledgement of illegal activity just then, and feel the need to come back to assure anyone who cares that I've already been dealt with and institutionalized for my behavior. I haven't seriously acted out recently. There is no need to rush to report anything. Move along.

Rage21 · F

Haha, your last comment was great. I was actually expecting a message if you were to go into that kind of detail. Disappointingly, there are a few members of the empathitic persuasion that frequent this group due to the lack of a life and the need for attention. I wouldn't be suprised to soon recieve an "angry letter" if I were you.

But, I personally appreciate your openness. I find it refreshing.

PMurinus

Eh! I figure I don't have much reason not to be open, really. I created this account entirely for this group, and it's not well-tied to my internet presence anywhere else. And hell, it's not like I have any legal repercussions to fear, as even if authorities cared enough about animal abuse to try to track it down through vague comments on the internet, I really have paid my dues. As noted in the experience I posted when I joined, these days, I'm experimenting with cooperating with everyone else to try to make my own life easier. I'm even throwing in some real, benefit-free altruism here and there to help cultivate habits that the rest of my species can later observe and find attractive. ...there are still games, of course. I'd go mad without them. They are just a little more subtle and sophisticated, these days.