How do you handle a narcissist?
Anybody ever deal with a narcissist? If so, you may be familiar with the tactics they use.
I will tell you of my recent experience with one and how I am proceeding.
I caught someone plagiarizing artwork on a site. Literally claiming that they created works of art by several different artists. I am not sure why they would lie about this, nevertheless when I saw their thread claiming credit for a notable piece of art I just posted links to that artist's website in the comments on the thread. That thread immediately got deleted after I did that.
Then I noticed another post on their account that also had them claiming credit for a different artist's work so I did the same thing there, querying whether or not this thread would also be deleted for me linking to the original artist's work. This time, the person making the false claims responded to my comment saying "I guess you don’t understand how art works. Are you trying to wreck my business? This is done all over the country."
Now, I was confused because how does it "wreck your business" when you are claiming you created these works and I am linking to the original artist's work? So I asked that and got no answer, but the thread was immediately deleted and then I got banned from site.
It seemed like a really DARVO response to me.
When I got no answer to my question of how on earth I was harming anyone's business, I did two things. First, I contacted the site owner who basically brushed me off and gave me no explanation for my ban.
Then, I dug into this person's post history to see if they had falsely claimed any other works of art. Of course they had. So I began contacting artists to ask them directly if they had given permission for this person to claim their works and of course they had not.
I compiled this information and sent a portion of it to the site owner, only a portion because I still didn't know if they themselves were trustworthy and I never show my full hand.
When I provided incontrovertible proof of a pattern of deception by this person to the site owner and again asked for an explanation of why I was banned, I got the cryptic response "did you contact his mom and son?" Of course I did not. I don't even know this person's name in real life.
I asked to be presented with any evidence against me because obviously I can't prove a negative but I will go off the end of the earth to stop a narcissist's smear campaign, I was called a slut literally in a cutesy way by the site owner and summarily dismissed.
So this person sustained such an injury to their ego that they chose to lie about me and besmirch my reputation in order to try and keep me silent. Ah yes. The old fashioned "narcissistic injury". I suppose because I embarrassed them by showing that they weren't truthful.
I was given no evidence, no proof and no recourse against malicious lies being spread about me.
Well. Lies have consequences and when they can be documented to rise to the level of defamation, those consequences become legal ones.
People who operate in this way are interesting to me because they tend to assume everyone is dumber than them, since they manage to lie and lie and get away with it, sometimes for years.
Until they meet someone with no skeletons who is ready to drop bands to prove their innocence and protect their reputation. Then things get exciting.
Especially when the person they've now encountered is someone who just knows, you do not play with narcissists. You simply place a well crafted wall of facts and truth between the two of you and when it all shakes out, they end up making themselves look like a horse's booty with zero effort from you.
It will be very, very fun to see the full extent of defamation that has been committed against me. I only know a piece of it right now.
I will tell you of my recent experience with one and how I am proceeding.
I caught someone plagiarizing artwork on a site. Literally claiming that they created works of art by several different artists. I am not sure why they would lie about this, nevertheless when I saw their thread claiming credit for a notable piece of art I just posted links to that artist's website in the comments on the thread. That thread immediately got deleted after I did that.
Then I noticed another post on their account that also had them claiming credit for a different artist's work so I did the same thing there, querying whether or not this thread would also be deleted for me linking to the original artist's work. This time, the person making the false claims responded to my comment saying "I guess you don’t understand how art works. Are you trying to wreck my business? This is done all over the country."
Now, I was confused because how does it "wreck your business" when you are claiming you created these works and I am linking to the original artist's work? So I asked that and got no answer, but the thread was immediately deleted and then I got banned from site.
It seemed like a really DARVO response to me.
When I got no answer to my question of how on earth I was harming anyone's business, I did two things. First, I contacted the site owner who basically brushed me off and gave me no explanation for my ban.
Then, I dug into this person's post history to see if they had falsely claimed any other works of art. Of course they had. So I began contacting artists to ask them directly if they had given permission for this person to claim their works and of course they had not.
I compiled this information and sent a portion of it to the site owner, only a portion because I still didn't know if they themselves were trustworthy and I never show my full hand.
When I provided incontrovertible proof of a pattern of deception by this person to the site owner and again asked for an explanation of why I was banned, I got the cryptic response "did you contact his mom and son?" Of course I did not. I don't even know this person's name in real life.
I asked to be presented with any evidence against me because obviously I can't prove a negative but I will go off the end of the earth to stop a narcissist's smear campaign, I was called a slut literally in a cutesy way by the site owner and summarily dismissed.
So this person sustained such an injury to their ego that they chose to lie about me and besmirch my reputation in order to try and keep me silent. Ah yes. The old fashioned "narcissistic injury". I suppose because I embarrassed them by showing that they weren't truthful.
I was given no evidence, no proof and no recourse against malicious lies being spread about me.
Well. Lies have consequences and when they can be documented to rise to the level of defamation, those consequences become legal ones.
People who operate in this way are interesting to me because they tend to assume everyone is dumber than them, since they manage to lie and lie and get away with it, sometimes for years.
Until they meet someone with no skeletons who is ready to drop bands to prove their innocence and protect their reputation. Then things get exciting.
Especially when the person they've now encountered is someone who just knows, you do not play with narcissists. You simply place a well crafted wall of facts and truth between the two of you and when it all shakes out, they end up making themselves look like a horse's booty with zero effort from you.
It will be very, very fun to see the full extent of defamation that has been committed against me. I only know a piece of it right now.
