I see people through this "they are a narcissist" label at anyone doing anything they don't like.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually a very rare neurological disorder. It develops in childhood through a lack of self-regulation properly developing in one domain, which has a domino effect of negatively impacting the regulation of a second and so on. Due to the impact on pro social domains, this affects an individual's ability to empathize and properly form bonds, to such a deep level that the affected individual cannot produce certain chemicals that a neurotypical will excrete during a bonding process. This is why they can very easily discard. As a result of this lack of self-regulation in multiple domains, the individual may be assessed to exhibit enough personality traits present on the "cluster b" spectrum in order to be diagnosed with it.

Again, it is a very rare condition. The brain of the affected individual developed their neural networks during childhood in a disordered way. Not everyone who ever does anything you don't like is a "narcissist". It would be like calling anyone you like "bipolar", or "schizophrenic". I'm sure you'd appreciate not being called schizophrenic.

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Magenta · F

I see people through this "they are a narcissist" label at anyone doing anything they don't like.

Exactly. It's just become a catch phrase to stamp on those who have hurt us or had bad behavior at some point.🙄 Sometimes I wonder if some don't project their own onto others.

Only 1% to 2% of US. population actually has NPD.

Therealsteve · 31-35, M

@Magenta You reminded me that I wanted to add that many of the people who throw the "narcissist" label at people tend to come across, at least to me, as not the greatest of people, themselves. "That person is getting the attention I want, oh and they are enjoying it! They are intentionally seeking out attention, narcissist!"

And yep! Everyone's ex is a narcissist. I very literally had a Borderline Personality Disorder ex. She told me early on and I didn't look into what it meant, I just saw it as some attention seeking thing. We met online. Different sides of Europe. Told me she used to think this guy she met from yet another country was the love of her life, but that he didnt care for her at all, and that two years later she realised she was wrong about him and now she had me. Within a month of talking, she planes from Slovakia to the UK to meet me. Month later flies me over, rents us a cottage and takes me on trips and meals out every day. What I now know to be "love bombing". I then move over to live with her a month later (short notice I know, but my dad has his own issues (trigger for being targeted by people with these disorders) and threatened to kick me out so she bought me a plane ticket). Within 24 hours she splits on me, claiming she doesn't actually love me, that she still loves him. That suddenly she doesn't like my appearance. But then a few days later tells me "you have two girlfriends because my mum loves you so much", but still being "triangulated" against this other guy to justify her BPD behaviour. She hadn't learn to regulate any of the five domains, as is the case with personality disordered people. She stormed out of three entry level jobs for the few months I was with her, she had no in person friends, would scream at me out of nowhere.

Way too much to go into here, but coming from someone who went through the absolute mind f that a relationship with someone with an ACTUAL personality disorder, and who is now certified in understanding disorders and mental illnesses, there is a HUGE difference between actual NPD/BPD and people that get that label thrown at them just because someone doesn't like them.