How to spot a narcissist?!

True narcissism is a psychological disorder diagnosable by mental health professionals. It’s a term that’s been casually flung around a lot lately.
That’s not to say that a person can’t have narcissistic tendencies without being clinically diagnosed.
The bottom line is that if you think he’s narcissistic and define your relationship as toxic, it is probably not healthy and you’re obviously not happy. Start taking the steps you need to change that now. ♥️

The more perfect, goody goody a person presents...the more suspicious I get. Those types are very presentable on the outside but total arseholes in private.

You cannot until it is too late, Those people are experts at presenting themselves in a fake fashion.
Are you always walking on egg shells > are you accused of anything and everything ? are you deeply anxious \? are you now a shadow of your former self ? has sunshine gone from your life ? do you feel unloved and unsupported ? Do you have to be at beck and call of your husband > does he tell you you are lying

My partner's mum was very much a narcissist, she really did think the world revolved around her. Cutting through all that false veneer, and when she did let her guard down she was quite nice.

But very manipulative. To this day, my girl still thinks the sun shone out of her bottom (she sadly passed away), but it's her mum so I totally understand that.

There's different types of narcissists

If you want the clinical definition, you'll need the criteria as described in the DSM; there are a number of them that must be satisfied in order for one to be diagnosed officially with NPD.

Then again, you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. My ex was a narcissist, because she effortlessly displayed these egregious mental defects easily:

Lack of empathy
Belief that one is "special" and deserves special treatment
Lack of self-awareness(this is not limited to NPD)
Need for excessive(usually unwarranted) admiration

They love bomb, they lie, they control, they gaslight. Run afoul of them and you'll get the "silent treatment" to "punish" you. They fucking suck and are trash people(that is not in the DSM but probably should be).

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

Sadly, though, as in most cases of mental illness, knowing what makes them tick does absolutely NOTHING. They think that everyone else has the problem, so they will never get better.

No judgment, cause I was the dumbass who hung in there for 6 years until I realized I was stuck in a cyclical pattern of up/down, gain/loss. There are different types of narcs, but they largely do and say all the same stupid shit. It's actually a little terrifying.

There’s a real trend these days to categorize someone (usually always a woman is categorizing a man) as a narcissist. I don’t claim any special knowledge of who is or isn’t. In my day, if a relationship isn’t working, then you just end it and move on. And typically both people are responsible for a bad relationship. It seems these days, someone (usually the man) is wrong and the other was hoodwinked.

NPD can't be diagnosed by anyone but a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, but I can give you a list of traits:

Lack of empathy and remorse
Grandiosity
Sense of entitlement
Fantasies of ideal power/wealth/beauty
Manipulativeness such as gaslighting

Narcissists will often love bomb their victim.
If something looks too good to be true and he's moving the related rapidly, it's often a sign.

If he is constantly calling into question your perception of events so that you look bad and he looks good or innocent either he is a narcissist or you have mental health issues. You have to be the judge of that. I suggest seeing a good therapist on your own not as a couple.

oh boy. i got involved with a covert Narcissist. you will know something is wrong. I would suggest you go on youtube and watch the videos. Dr. Ramani is excellent

Feel free to message me I was married to a narcissistic woman and didn’t know anything about it until I left and I know all the signs now c

It's not easy to recognize at first, but they make themselves appear to "all knowing" and the conversation revolves around their experiences and their needs...then they tell you what you should be doing...

Her videos are quite good on the subject:

[media=https://youtu.be/cyF0Oeamih8]

What did he do or didn't do that made you think of him as narcissist?

One who has an initial as

I

Oops.. just noticed your nick 😋

Set a boundary or two ...

If he breaches them repeatedly, (and for added narc points: then gives pathetic or convoluted reasons why he breached them. Or worse, ridicules or condemns you or your boundaries), hes prolly on the narcissistic spectrum.

The other thing is to keep a diary . If you find you guys have this wierd pattern of fights, long silences and then makeup periods that especially are finished off with sex or you doing some favour for him...all for it to be repeated .
Then that's a kinda red flag too.

Does he have any other mental health issues?

My husband has bipolar disorder and definitely has narcissistic tendencies.

He would need to be evaluated before you could call him a narcissist because it is classified as a mental health disorder. It still makes it hard to deal with nonetheless.