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It's still incomprehensible to me that anyone puts up with this sort of behaviour.
The only thing I can do is trust the conclusions of expert research.
I see something like this I cringe.
All I want to do is scream at her, "no matter how much you love him, leave now, and never let him no where you are, no matter what it takes to achieve it."
The only thing I can do is trust the conclusions of expert research.
I see something like this I cringe.
All I want to do is scream at her, "no matter how much you love him, leave now, and never let him no where you are, no matter what it takes to achieve it."
berangere · 80-89, F
@hartfire I totally agree with you,but the destruction of someone's integrity and who they are is a slow process carefuly orchestrated by the narcissist,their victims start believing they are at fault and deserve that kind of treatment and also they keep hoping that things will improve if they do what the narcissists tell them to do,because their resistance to that kind of abuse has been worn down over time,the narcissist put his or her victim through a roller coaster where they will become very loving if they feel their victim is slipping away form them and then the abuse will start all over again,and that totaly confuses and distables the victims,this is why it is called gaslighting,they make their victims doubt their own sanity and perception.
@berangere I think I get what you're saying.
If the abuse is very minor to start with, it's too easy to dismiss it, especially if the receiver is in love - wearing the rose-coloured glasses.
I'm not sure that narcissists are the only gaslighters. I suspect it's common to all types of borderline personality.
I like what you're doing - spreading the message - helping people understand exactly how subtle gaslighting can be.
Are you a psychologist?
Have you chosen this mode of communication because by the time clients have arrived at your door they're already in crisis?
If so, what do you think are the best strategies for exiting a toxic relationship? - especially considering that control freaks can commit murder rather than let their prey escape.
If the abuse is very minor to start with, it's too easy to dismiss it, especially if the receiver is in love - wearing the rose-coloured glasses.
I'm not sure that narcissists are the only gaslighters. I suspect it's common to all types of borderline personality.
I like what you're doing - spreading the message - helping people understand exactly how subtle gaslighting can be.
Are you a psychologist?
Have you chosen this mode of communication because by the time clients have arrived at your door they're already in crisis?
If so, what do you think are the best strategies for exiting a toxic relationship? - especially considering that control freaks can commit murder rather than let their prey escape.
berangere · 80-89, F
@hartfire I am not a psychologist but I have been nursing for 41 years and that includes psychiatric nursing emergency nursing and midwifery.
I grew up in a narcissistic "family" that I left at age 17 because I was the scapegoat and could not take any more abuse,then I had a 7 years relationship with a covert narcissist,because my self esteem was appaling and it was not difficult for him to put me in the wrong and play the victim,he ruined our wedding day deliberately,luckily for me I did not become co-dependent like many victims of narcissists,I did not completely lose my identity and developed a great dislike of him that helped me to get out of that relationship,I was lucky in that sense that I woke up to him and did not remaim "in love" with him for him to convince me to give him more "chances"
The strategies to excit toxic relationships is absolutely not contact once you have left the narcissist,cut ALL modes of communication and do not let them convinced you that they have "changed" and that they are "sorry" and give them another chance,if you are dealing with a malignant narcissist/spychopath your life could be in danger so they must absolutely not know where you are when you take the courage to leave them,as restraining orders do not work for them,you have to disappear and go where you can be safe.
But things get far more complicated if you have children with the narcissist.
I grew up in a narcissistic "family" that I left at age 17 because I was the scapegoat and could not take any more abuse,then I had a 7 years relationship with a covert narcissist,because my self esteem was appaling and it was not difficult for him to put me in the wrong and play the victim,he ruined our wedding day deliberately,luckily for me I did not become co-dependent like many victims of narcissists,I did not completely lose my identity and developed a great dislike of him that helped me to get out of that relationship,I was lucky in that sense that I woke up to him and did not remaim "in love" with him for him to convince me to give him more "chances"
The strategies to excit toxic relationships is absolutely not contact once you have left the narcissist,cut ALL modes of communication and do not let them convinced you that they have "changed" and that they are "sorry" and give them another chance,if you are dealing with a malignant narcissist/spychopath your life could be in danger so they must absolutely not know where you are when you take the courage to leave them,as restraining orders do not work for them,you have to disappear and go where you can be safe.
But things get far more complicated if you have children with the narcissist.
berangere · 80-89, F
This is a very disturbing video of narcissistic abuse,mostly for those who have gone through it and felt so helpless.