I Have Bad Mood Swings

I was feeling not too bad half an hour ago, and now I'm sat playing with my straight razor again. Sat pressing it against my legs, wrists and throat. Pressing hard enough to leave marks but not quite breaking the skin yet, knowing that all it would take is one quick movement and my hollow ground friend would part my skin like gossamer beneath its finely honed blade, as it has so many times before..

This is not a new feeling, it is now more often than not the situation I find myself in every day and every night. At times it comes totally without warning, like suddenly falling from a precipice, and at others slowly rolling over me like a thick black fog, seeping into every fibre of my being and smothering me in darkness