Why'd my sister send me this short film on epilepsy
Now it's got me in my feels 😭 it reminds me of so many instances.
[media=https://youtu.be/tfy4_mq_yX8]
I'm grateful that my epilepsy is now under control but for 3 years straight during the pandemic it was pretty bad.
I lost a lot of independence. I'd have a family member or friend waiting outside a toilet just in case I fell off, I stopped driving and I still barely drive because the anxiety of not driving for years is still with me.
I couldn't really go out for walks by myself, because I'd be having up to 3 seizures a day. Whenever I did go for a walk it was usually with my brother. I still remember having a seizure in a park and laying on the grass but it was weirdly nice to see the sky instead of the same 4 walls.
The one in London wasn't as nice lmao. Couldn't think of any place worse. It was so busy and loud but a few people came to help which restored my faith in humanity just a lil 🤏🏽bit.
Of course it being the pandemic added on top of it because there was nothing to occupy the mind at the time. I think that's part of why I decided to go Ireland by myself for a few months. I just wanted to regain a sense of independence after getting comfortable with relying too much on everyone.
Even when i'd go out with friends and end up having seizures, I felt guilty that they had to sit with me until I was present. When I was around family I'd eventually leave the room if I felt like I was on the verge of having one but my brother started picking up on it and followed me lmao. I'd always be like "oh great, here comes my body guard" because as helpful as he was, it felt suffocating always being watched. Bless him lol.
When I was younger I'd try to hide my face. Especially if I had one in school which I did. It's not like any of the kids said anything cruel. It's just the anticipation that they could if they wanted to. Growing up is already difficult without having an additional thing that draws attention to you.
I'm glad they're under control now and I know mine aren't as bad as so many others have them so I'll count my blessings where I have them
[media=https://youtu.be/tfy4_mq_yX8]
I'm grateful that my epilepsy is now under control but for 3 years straight during the pandemic it was pretty bad.
I lost a lot of independence. I'd have a family member or friend waiting outside a toilet just in case I fell off, I stopped driving and I still barely drive because the anxiety of not driving for years is still with me.
I couldn't really go out for walks by myself, because I'd be having up to 3 seizures a day. Whenever I did go for a walk it was usually with my brother. I still remember having a seizure in a park and laying on the grass but it was weirdly nice to see the sky instead of the same 4 walls.
The one in London wasn't as nice lmao. Couldn't think of any place worse. It was so busy and loud but a few people came to help which restored my faith in humanity just a lil 🤏🏽bit.
Of course it being the pandemic added on top of it because there was nothing to occupy the mind at the time. I think that's part of why I decided to go Ireland by myself for a few months. I just wanted to regain a sense of independence after getting comfortable with relying too much on everyone.
Even when i'd go out with friends and end up having seizures, I felt guilty that they had to sit with me until I was present. When I was around family I'd eventually leave the room if I felt like I was on the verge of having one but my brother started picking up on it and followed me lmao. I'd always be like "oh great, here comes my body guard" because as helpful as he was, it felt suffocating always being watched. Bless him lol.
When I was younger I'd try to hide my face. Especially if I had one in school which I did. It's not like any of the kids said anything cruel. It's just the anticipation that they could if they wanted to. Growing up is already difficult without having an additional thing that draws attention to you.
I'm glad they're under control now and I know mine aren't as bad as so many others have them so I'll count my blessings where I have them
