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I Am Living With Epilepsy

Today my boyfriend is driving us both to stay with his parents for Christmas. His sister, her husband and their two kids will be arriving today as well. His brother and his girlfriend are coming on Christmas day.

This is my first time meeting his family. We haven't even been together all that long, although I feel as though my epilepsy has made us much stronger than any other couple would be at this stage in a relationship. When his mum found out I was spending Christmas alone, she invited me to tag along. I was reluctant but I knew it would make boyfriend happy.

I was really worried that he wouldn't have told his family about my epilepsy. I don't know why. That was a ridiculous thing to be thinking. Turns out his mum has known almost as long as he has because he'd told her about one of the seizures I'd had.

But basically, his mum and dad have been fully briefed on my seizures, what they look like and what to do. His sister and bro in law know I have epilepsy. The kids haven't really been told anything because they're kids and that's up to their parents to decide what they get told. We haven't spoken to his brother but his mum said she'll mention it next time she speaks to him.

I feel marginly better knowing that they're all in the know but I'm still nervous. I still have the remnants of the bruising from the seizure where I bashed my head into the pavement. I'm going to be in a place that's different, with a different routine, different eating pattern, sleeping pattern, I'm gonna be anxious and stressed. I'm like 75% certain I'm going to have a Tonic Clonic seizure during the time I'm there and I'll definitely have a complex focal seizure because I never go that long without them anyway.

So yeah, I'm freaking out a bit right now. I've been googling their local hospital and the ambulance service. I've been thinking of excuses for leaving the room as quickly as possible. And verbal signals for "I'm gonna have a seizure" that don't involve me saying it. I know I'm overthinking. I do that a lot.

Right now, boyfriend is loading up the car and I'm supposed to be resting on the sofa but I'm stressing so much! At this rate, I'll have a seizure during the car journey and arrive a post ictal mess. That'll make a good first impression!
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Mindful · 56-60, F
Have you ever thought that THEY might be worried about what YOU think of THEM? That they are worried that YOU might Not like THEM? That THEY are wondering whether their sons Potentially future daughter in law MIGHT feel so uncomfortable that her love might steal their son away if YOU don’t like THEM? Maybe they are not worried because the DONT mind the chance to rescue you to prove to YOU ...THEIR worth to you? Everyone just want to feel accepted and be given the chance to love and be loved. Can YOU accept them as THEY are? Is your boyfriend kind and loving? Where do you think he learned to be kind and loving from? Humans aren’t that different. They are just as worried as you are—about YOU liking THEM.
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Mindful · 56-60, F
@StereoguyTY. deep down we’re all alike and deep down worried about what others we care for might think of us. If their son likes her, they definitely want her to like them. If she does have a seizure, it sounds like they will shower her with care and glad to have a chance to prove they are loving family.
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Mindful · 56-60, F
Ha! Fairly set. Not 100%@Stereoguy Yes. I love hosting family. If I am well. I am this year. Do you have guests?
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Psychologykate · 41-45, F
@Mindful I think you're right. I think he definitely inherited his kindness from his mum. I was so touched when she told him to bring me home with him for Christmas. My parents live abroad and it's too difficult for me to travel to spend Christmas with them so I usually spend Christmas day on my own. It's not a big deal. I've done it for years. But this was so kind of her. Especially as we've never met. We've actually spoken on Skype since then. Mainly so that we could discuss Christmas plans etc. And she's so lovely. I can't wait to meet her in person. We're an hour away at the moment. His sister and bro in law and the kids have already arrived so at least I'll be meeting everyone at once!
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Psychologykate · 41-45, F
@Stereoguy thank you. Bless her, she's just called to ask how we're doing and to let me know that she spoke to the brother this morning and let him know about my epilepsy. In her words: "everyone knows now, so will you please stop stressing about it. If it happens, it happens darling" 🥰
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Psychologykate · 41-45, F
@Stereoguy I think he most definitely is. I'm constantly shocked by how he's still by my side after all that's been thrown at him lately.
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Psychologykate · 41-45, F
@Stereoguy it might be a tad early for that!
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Psychologykate · 41-45, F
@Stereoguy I'd love to think that next year we'd still be together and that might happen.
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Mindful · 56-60, F
@Psychologykate don’t rush . Enjoy
Mindful · 56-60, F
@Psychologykate sounds wonderful.let them love on you!