Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

The one thing I hate myself about in the past few years. [I Have Asperger's Syndrome]

In the past few years my Aspergers has become more and more of a problem.

In 2017; I was part of a team programme where this girl called Meg, said she was a hugger, she said she loved hugs, whenever she was cold she wanted hugs all the time. So I did as she asked... Then two weeks later, she bombarded me with jerky comments saying I wasn't giving her space, she told me to always hug her so I did as she asked, I had no concept of anything else but that instruction until she started having a go at me about it. We spent the rest of the programme not talking but if she had said something prior to the bombardment, I would've stopped. That's when I came to realise that I need to be told, to learn the lesson, not being belittled.

In 2019; I had a problem at work where I posted some posts about troublesome work situations on Facebook. But then I got in trouble and almost lost my job for it because it breached the social media contract but I had never been shown this contract, nor was it readily available. Thankfully work gave me another chance and I limited my Facebook posts...

Until this year when all these riots started, I was confused by what was happening in my mind, it was just human fighting human and so I asked my Facebook friends, whom I had known for 4 years and shared a lot of stuff with what the trouble was and I told them I couldn't understand due my Aspergers and they went on to say that if I couldn't understand what was happening, I was a racist piece of s***, a broken piece that is everything wrong with our society. After this conversation, I had a panic attack, falling down the stairs and getting my laptop trashed in the process.

Then the next day, I receive a message, that my "Friends" had started a chat group talking about me and my "Aspergers Issue." And they started spreading rumours about me across my friends list. I started out with 227 friends, within 24 hours it had descended to 150. So I contacted those I wanted to keep in touch with school friends and family, and left all social apart from this one.

Because I wanna Understand because, I'm tired of learning the lesson after I've done something wrong. And having no concepts of certain things because of my Aspergers, maybe I am broken.
Abstraction · 61-69, M
It seems to me that some of your 'friends' are incredibly shallow. And rather hypocritical for attacking someone for lacking understanding, when they themselves demonstrate complete lack of understanding. That's all I see here.

You're not broken. You're as normal as me - just different. We're all different. Your differences have a name, mine don't.

'Don't take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from.'
I'm really sorry - I know it would hurt. A lot.
RavenclawGamer · 26-30, M
@Abstraction Thank you so much for your kind words, they truly mean so much to me. Especially in these times where I just feel abundantly lost in the world that I can't understand.

I'm truly thankful, my friend.
Abstraction · 61-69, M
@RavenclawGamer My wife is on the spectrum. When I met her I couldn't believe it because she is now so high functioning.
But when she was young she struggled intensely, as she realised she was getting it wrong, and didn't know why. She had no diagnosis and just started copying people to try to fit in. It didn't always work.
Now she's one of the best listeners I've met, and a wonderful mother. Her friends love her. They perhaps don't all comprehend her need to withdraw at times. But her life is great. She's an amazing, deep person. You might feel lost, but you can find a way through.
YoungPoet345 · 26-30, F
You’re not broken. People are cruel. I have dealt with the same kind of behavior, where I try to address an issue and am ignored and then they blow up about it later. It’s toxic behavior. And they should try to understand you more instead of blinding making harsh judgements. Sounds like you need better friends. Those people sound toxic and cruel.
RavenclawGamer · 26-30, M
@YoungPoet345 thank you so much, my friend. Hearing That, it means so much. To be honest aside from high anxiety pains occasionally, since leaving Facebook and their toxicity behind, my heart has felt lighter for it.

I'm so sorry that you've ran into the same kind of behaviour too. :'( I wouldn't wish it anyone ever.
Carazaa · F
Try not to worry 🙂
Life is a learning experience! What I would suggest is just to try to understand where others are coming from, which is sometimes hard for all of us regardless! And i would just practice
1. Not say anything negative about others (actually it’s good to think and talk about positive things mostly)
2. Ask others If they want a hug (or whatever ) before giving one
3. Try to go by the “golden rule” , treat others the way you want to be treated! This can be tricky but it helps me when I am confused how to treat someone!
This... I understand.

The world, and people just assume everybody sees the world the same.
And even when you tell them that You see differently, and even tell them that you need help.... You are still expected to be the one to change..

People don't like change, or stretching their minds - yet people on the spectrum are asked to do it over and over again.

No one bends for us.

No one adapts.

And no one tells us we're wrong untill too late, and then they're ready to layer on the blame.

Ive learnt to accept when I'm wrong.
I've learnt to open my mind to wjat others perceive.
I've learnt to say sorry - i have no problem laying my ego down for someone else.

But I do have a problem with tje way correction is delivered. I do have a problem with their lack of forgiveness.... Becuase I'm asked to do it ALL THE FUCKING TIME! 😠

 
Post Comment