I Have Adhd

So I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 4 years old I never really agreed with my diagnosis because I was only four years old when given the test to see if I had ADHD now since kindergarten I've had every single ADHD medication you could think of. I felt like a complete guinea pig to the system. I feel as though the pills really did help me though but at the same time there were a lot of negatives that came along with it I'm not sure if I want to get back on my medication or not. sometimes I really wish I was on it so I could think more clearly but my boyfriend doesn't like me on my medication he says it makes me become a different person and I'm just not as fun to be around I don't know if I should continue taking my medicine because I feel like it makes me feel like a person that can think more clearly. Or if my boyfriend is right and i should continue to be off of them. I havent taken my adhd pills in two years and I've really considered going back to it but my withdrawls were so intense part of me is like why bother.. Idk i just wanted to speak my thoughts...