. My chilhood hell
It was hard to write this, so I may remove it in the future, we will see.
I envy people who have had a good childhood When i was young my father would constantly physically abuse me, along with my siblings. My mother told me about an incident, when i was a baby, i wouldn't stop crying, he took me upstairs and moments later, when he returned, i had bruising on my body.
He was an angry and violent person, and i would say had narcissistic tendencies. We were constantly beaten, mainly across the hands with a cane. He would line us up, with our hands out, and cane us one by one. At one point, my little sister's hands were bleeding as the cane broke her skin, she must have been 6 at the time.
I used to constantly wet the bed throughout my childhood and all he had to do was raise his voice to me and i would wet myself. It was a swirling blurr of violence, fear and helplessness and i couldn't get out of it.
I started becoming a problem at school, which meant bad school reports, which in turn meant a violent reaction from my father. On one occassion he stood me in front of him, he was seated, reading my school report out loud. I was trying my best not to wet myself, the next thing i felt, was his foot on my stomach as i went flying across the room, i remember being curled up in a ball crying as he walked out of the room.
He broke my nose at 13, the reason was because i removed the luggage rack on my bicycle. He told me to go back to where i had removed the rack and find the nuts and bolts that fixed it in place. Blood was pouring from my nose and my eyes had swollen so much, which made it difficult to see the bolts.
Other things stood out during my childhood years that i can't mention. In the end, my mother who is a staunch Irish Catholic couldn't take it anymore and divorced him. That was our escape from our childhood hell.
If he could see me now, i know he would be disappointed and i always wonder if he had any effect on who i am today 🤔
I envy people who have had a good childhood When i was young my father would constantly physically abuse me, along with my siblings. My mother told me about an incident, when i was a baby, i wouldn't stop crying, he took me upstairs and moments later, when he returned, i had bruising on my body.
He was an angry and violent person, and i would say had narcissistic tendencies. We were constantly beaten, mainly across the hands with a cane. He would line us up, with our hands out, and cane us one by one. At one point, my little sister's hands were bleeding as the cane broke her skin, she must have been 6 at the time.
I used to constantly wet the bed throughout my childhood and all he had to do was raise his voice to me and i would wet myself. It was a swirling blurr of violence, fear and helplessness and i couldn't get out of it.
I started becoming a problem at school, which meant bad school reports, which in turn meant a violent reaction from my father. On one occassion he stood me in front of him, he was seated, reading my school report out loud. I was trying my best not to wet myself, the next thing i felt, was his foot on my stomach as i went flying across the room, i remember being curled up in a ball crying as he walked out of the room.
He broke my nose at 13, the reason was because i removed the luggage rack on my bicycle. He told me to go back to where i had removed the rack and find the nuts and bolts that fixed it in place. Blood was pouring from my nose and my eyes had swollen so much, which made it difficult to see the bolts.
Other things stood out during my childhood years that i can't mention. In the end, my mother who is a staunch Irish Catholic couldn't take it anymore and divorced him. That was our escape from our childhood hell.
If he could see me now, i know he would be disappointed and i always wonder if he had any effect on who i am today 🤔
51-55, T
