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Tomorrow is my birthday, and it's bittersweet

Every year it is. I have always loved birthdays, having parties or gatherings with loved ones, but as I grew up I had fewer friends to invite and celebrate with (because they didn't like me anymore or moved away) and my extended family who I used to be close with as a child just forget about it. It had come to a point where it is just my bf and bil (we share bdays) and videocalls with my mom, brother and dad + a handful of friends greeting me by text because they are too busy to meet up.

I am excited of being a year olde, but I find myself horribly depressed and sad, wishing I could go back to enjoying the date like when I was a kid, but every year it becomes more of a normal day with a few greetings and I hate it, and I don't know how to stop it or change it; because even if I plan something, the only people who will show up are my bf and bil OR I'll just go with my mom, her bf and my brother. It is not like I don't value them, but small things always make me sad because I feel like, aside from them, nobody else cares.
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iamnikki · 31-35, F
You just told my story too.
I always take the day off and spend it how I please.
Typically I'll by myself something from a restaurant to go and get a massage.
My last birthday, I went to a restaurant (out of town) and it wasn't crowded at all.
The hostess asked me what brought me there and so I mentioned it was my birthday.
The manager came offer and offered me a choice of free dessert. I also got a discount.

I said all that to say that I know birthdays as adults can be difficult.

Try to enjoy it.
Happy early Birthday 🍰🎈
DespairKvh · 26-30, F
@iamnikki I wish I could just take the day off, sadly it is a rare occasion when I'm able to 😞
I will try to enjoy it this year, though I'll be busy
Thank you 💕