I think most people have heard about [b]social anxiety [/b] but I wanna talk about it from a CPTSD perspective.
My CPTSD makes daily life a very heavy challenge. I used the grocery store as a classic example. A public space where you are surrounded by people sounds noise movements and strong lights. It really activates all my inner alarm buttons. And after I'm done and come home I'm so damn exhausted from just being in that mess. My entire body just wanna collapse on the floor.
With CPTSD the biggest struggle is to try shut off those alarms or else everything that moves will be a "SQUIRREL!" but in a threatful way.
The sneaky part is I don't notice I'm in that state, until I come home and my partner slams with a pan and my first reaction is "[b]HE WILL HURT ME"[/b]
So I must ask him if he slams because he's mad at me, because this was a real thing in my past, both in my childhood home but also in relationships.
By knowing the mood on the abuser I could sometimes prevent or "be prepared" for what comes next. And that's the reaction I'm still having when there's sudden movements, sounds,lights that goes on or off etc.
