Reading this great book about assertiveness and effective communication
"When I Say No I Feel Guilty".
One of the key things I've picked up from it so far is that it's possible to deduce that what you want to do is "unreasonable" and still need/want to do it, and that's okay. Because who defines what is reasonable or not? Society? Some unwritten code somewhere? And why do you feel the need to conform to whatever "they" have decided?.
So instead, build your own set of values, and stick to them. Sticking to them is the hard part. Some people might think you're being ridiculous and unreasonable, some people might just respect you, and some might agree with you. But at least, you feel good because you are doing what you want. Not begrudgingly doing something you don't want, just for other people's approval.
One of the key things I've picked up from it so far is that it's possible to deduce that what you want to do is "unreasonable" and still need/want to do it, and that's okay. Because who defines what is reasonable or not? Society? Some unwritten code somewhere? And why do you feel the need to conform to whatever "they" have decided?.
So instead, build your own set of values, and stick to them. Sticking to them is the hard part. Some people might think you're being ridiculous and unreasonable, some people might just respect you, and some might agree with you. But at least, you feel good because you are doing what you want. Not begrudgingly doing something you don't want, just for other people's approval.
26-30, M