What should I do for my brother when he gets out of care?

My baby brother will be realised from a mental health hospital tomorrow, (hopefully) having spent three horrific days of hell there.

Of course, I understand why he needed to go. I took a day to fall apart and gave vent to my feelings, but now that I have gotten my sea legs back on, I must, must, must make use of this situation to better understand and help him.

Obviously, we will recieve discharge papers, medication and a plan from a mental health doctor, but I mean "what should I do" in terms of him emotionally. I want to ask him about his stay, but don't want to upset him. I want to tell him I'm so happy he's home and on the path to recovery, but don't want him to lash out and tell me that I put him there. He is a very special child, and doesn't have a bone in his body capable of hating anyone, (especially me. He tells me I'm his best friend) but I still feel incrediblly guilty and sad.

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DarkHeaven ·

Just listen and let him guide the conversation. Sometimes just being there for him, so he knows he’s supported could be enough. If he’s comfortable discussing his time there, he will. If not, he won’t. Don’t have any expectations of what happens or what is discussed. Just let it happen organically, so he can feel safe and secure.

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven Thank you. 🤗 He is usually a big talker, but last time SOMETHING like this happened, he didn't want to speak for a while. About anything. Then he got quite clingy, which I'll allow in this situation.

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert I wrote a poem about my time there. Would you like to read it?

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven In a mental health facility? I would love to. Thank you so much.

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert Keep in mind, that everyone’s experiences are different and I was transferred from a 72 hour hold to a long term facility, so my experiences weren’t very great.

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/3092495-Horrid-Sound-Horrid-Sound-Bzzzz-kkkk-What-a-horrid

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven I am so sorry. I want to give you a hug. Yes, I imagine those facilities to be very horrific and I am very worried. I also hope you have since healed. 🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert Much of it was tough. But there were good times too, it’s just mental illness has defined most of my life since my adult onset with lots of struggle. But in the struggle there’s also hope. 🦋

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/4211240-I-got-convinced-by-a-friend-to-share-a-part-of-my

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert Does he have an official diagnosis? Like what mental illness issues he’s suffering from?

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven Yeah. He has ASD, OCD and pretty bad anxiety. :(

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert yeah, that’s a lot. and some depression mixed in too, if he tried su!c!de. So… he struggles with communication and social ques, is often paralyzed by his need to organize his thoughts and surroundings so they make sense to him, and becomes quickly anxious when life becomes what he considers chaotic… all leading to an overall feeling of hopelessness and depression. Scheduling and routines, will be his best friend. Making him less anxious by alway knowing what to expect will be key and also allowing a comfortable transition time when plans are forced to change. He can do this. Mental illness is never easy but it’s also not impossible with help and support.

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven You're pretty spot on, to be honest. It seems like Manfret lives in a world that's always to chaotic for him. He tries, though, really, really tries, and it's heartbreaking.
He also has conpulsions that he feels the need to do, which gets him bullied at school. He doesn't have any friends and when he makes them, they leave just as quickly.

DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert isolation will create horrible feelings of depression even in people with no mental illness. You might see about support groups in your area where he can meet people like himself and possibly make friends with people that understand him. You might help him create a plan to tell people how he is, so they have a better understanding his issues and how to help him and don’t misunderstand when he starts to have an episode. We all need friends. I hope this may help.

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven I agree. Lonliness and isolation are horrible. It won't solve all of his problems, but I think if Manny felt confident with only one friend, then it would make things a lot easiier for him. But I think he's tired of trying right now. He always ends up crying in his room because someone he thought was a friend left him.

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DarkHeaven ·

@ArminArlert I’ll be thinking of you both. May I pray for you both?

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@DarkHeaven You can. Thank you for your kindess. I am worried about him and his future.