Fear of dying in pain

I have an extreme fear of dying I don’t what it is about dying that scares me the most the fact that I will be alone 7 feet under ground or the fact that bugs will eat my flesh or the fact that I might feel ever single thing or the fact that I could go to hell I can’t choose but what I know is death scares the living hell out of me just imagining myself on my death bed knowing that I’m gonna die and there is nothing I could do about it makes me have the biggest panic attack ever or dying while you’re in extreme pain is even scarier. sometimes I wish I could just make myself disappear.. I wish I never existed so I wouldn’t have to die and suffer from All of this pain I always cry and blame my mother for giving birth to me but deep Down I know it’s not her fault God is the one who created me and I’m sure it’s for a reason I’m thankful for Allah all the time but death scares me the most I hope that I don’t die in fear or in pain