And the world slows down today 😌

I really want to embrace it, but I’ve been so occupied with the medical side of life that I haven’t tended to house side of life. They’re both scary in their own way, and when you have zero help from your partner it can all be even scarier.

I’m just gonna blurt this out to get the information out of the way.

My bloodwork showed two concerning things.

One.

My doctor (who called me herself unlike last year when her assistant did, so I knew it was a serious call): “You have alpha-gal, girl.”

Yep. A single tick bite a couple of months back has resulted in me being in the very inconvenient position of carrying a purse for a while so I can have access to EpiPens should I need them. I’m such a carry everything I need in my pockets girl 😩. But anyway, no mammalian products whatsoever until I get to an allergist to see exactly what could trigger a reaction, even though I’ve been having a ton of milk in iced turtles…and enjoyed not one, but two hamburgers last week because it had been months since I had one so I thought why not. Unbeknownst to me, that could’ve resulted in a serious allergic reaction like anaphylactic shock. …I had to engage the speech to text on that one because fuck trying to spell that for the first time. I’ve never said the phrase so much in life as I have the past two days, and I still have to tell work about it. I’m not ready for that wave of sad eyes.

Okay. Two.

There was a number in a specific result that has gone up enough to raise a red flag, especially with my history. It’s a number that could reflect issues with my bones, or more frightening to me, my liver given my past chapter with cancer. OR a direction my mind couldn’t even see the night I read the results myself…absolutely nothing. The next step is more bloodwork to isolate the area responsible for the number, and if it is the liver, an ultrasound to see exactly what’s going on there. That’s the plan for now.


So, yeah. A lot of information to process in my car during my “me day” parked in a Michael’s parking lot after I braved the crowd at a lunchtime Chick-fil-A for a sad grilled chicken wrap that became even sadder when it decided to plop over from the spot I rested it in the passenger seat, unraveling itself in the process. Was especially fitting for the moment though as I was over an hour away from home and the pharmacy that would alert me soon after that my EpiPens were ready to pick up.

After that I treated myself to another iced coffee and started questioning the milk in it after a few sips. Walked in and out of a Crumbl since their cookies are like 90% butter and I have to be restricted from that for now. And grabbed a buggy in the city’s busy Walmart just to leave it empty and parked somewhere near the jewelry section because the anxiety was ramping up that quickly at the new fears brewing inside of me.

The interstate home was especially fun, more so after texting my husband telling him of my mental and emotional state and him being more concerned about whether or not I could pick him up some gummies, and responding in a way that made me feel guilty if I didn’t. He apologized if he made me feel that way and attributed it to work. But when I got home finally and was having a discussion about everything with my youngest…who’s 20 and not a hugger…my husband came out of his office frantically looking for the gummies the oldest picked up as a favor to me…in his Pikachu onesie mind you…grabbed them, and went back to work.

I’ll never forget the words the youngest said to me.


“He didn’t even hug you.”


I ended up getting three from the youngest by the time I retired to my room for the evening. They meant more to me than he’ll ever know.

But job one? I gotta find a smaller purse, man. The expensive one I had to be talked into buying last year is honestly too much real estate for little ole me. And when I bend down she hurls herself at the floor like my suicidally inclined chicken wrap did.

I did sprawl my other purses across my bed last night, all I repurposed/tweaked aside from the yellow flower one.



One is unfinished. One is classic Wooderson. One would need a new strap. One is a laptop sleeve I could tweak. Or I could just pull the trigger on Etsy.



My mind may not be the best decision maker right now.