It's not easy

to bear the load any more. Any support system seems to be gone. Safe workplace, gone. Good relationship, absent. Family, dying out. Education, too expensive. Reading, too difficult. Art, not valued any more. I could go on, but this morning I'm already too weak. Been to a new shrink the day before yesterday. She seems to be better than the others. I don't go to one for the fun of it. I need to talk to someone. She already noticed some of the difficulties. The care for my dad's pigeon is very hard on me. There's continous bullying going on at my workplace. There are more than one or two examples of trama due to some very bad happenings in my past. The few friends that I have try to make me forget about them but I can't. I need to deal with them and my constant struggle just keep sane. I'm not crazy, just so very tired. The fight has used up my strenght and I'm feeling myself go too weak for the next blows to come. One of them being the death of my father.