I have mental health disabilities
Or challenges if you like. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, post traumatic disorder, and schizophrenia. On top of these challenges I recently battled with early stage ovotesticular cancer and luckily have recovered from that. Because of having mental illnesses and often times low motivation and issues with indecision and giving up easily when things got difficult, I have not achieved one adult milestone yet except getting a license and I keep it for identification purposes but I have stopped driving maybe two and half years ago because of all the medications I am on and my parents do not think it is safe for me to be behind the wheel of a car. My parents fought for guardianship legal and medical over me to be able to advocate for me while teaching me to advocate for myself after I had a psychotic breakdown almost three years ago ( 2 years 9 months to be exact) and in case anything happens, they have a say in what happens to me and they want to avoid me going back to a mental hospital. I didn’t fight them on the guardianship because for now it’s for the best. I have never paid my own bills ( with the exception of paying for small extras in cash from my allowance and small money from odd jobs, money as gifts etc). , navigated insurance on my own, paid taxes, held a stable career that was enough to support myself. I never finished my higher education although my parents paid for me to attend a community college and then a four year university ( I only got an associates from the community college) and they paid for my online vocational courses with certificates of completion and diplomas and my sewing classes which I stopped eventually trying to get me to commit to something I could learn professionally and personally. I have to learn household management skills like shopping for myself personally and for household items like groceries for example. I mean I shopped for accessories and clothing for myself in the past in the store and sometimes with someone else. I also shop online for things too with help because I don’t even know how to print an eBay receipt for example. My mom bought me needed coats and clothing because I outgrew a lot for me. I do laundry but need to learn to cook and bake. In addition, I really have to give myself motivation to clean around the house and last bit of cleaning I did was my room several weeks ago when my grandparents left for abroad on that Monday. I haven’t cleaned anything since. I have piles of notebooks, online course printouts, and sketchpads on my desk. I put a bunch of knitted projects on top of each other piled up in my closet with sketch books and sketchpads. I have many more notebooks in my drawers and journals/diaries. I am somewhat messy not on the floor but with scattering things around. My chair in my room is stacked with clothes especially house clothes that I use for a few days then wash and outfits I leave out after I go out in it once or twice For a couple of hours each so they are not dirty. I can feed myself and bathe and groom myself although I let my body hair get out of control by not shaving for probably a year or so already minus plucking excess hair on my face and shaving my armpits but leg hair and arm hair and other places are like being covered in a hairy forest. Until recently my parents dispensed my medication for me to make sure it was the right dosages and right ones taken at the time of the day it was supposed to be. Now I dispense my medications after practicing with my mom a few times but I think she still checks it later to make sure everything is all set. I also have never planned a trip on my own or traveled without my parents and family. I have never traveled with friends or with a lover/spouse or alone. My parents spend money for my hobbies/interests/talents/passions/skillsets/aptitudes and I help a little now because I have disability benefits. My parents pay back my student loans for me although a bit of my disability benefits is going to help pay for that and some of my upkeep and maintenance in the household. But some of it I get to keep for personal use like going out with a friend occasionally or for extras. My dad is the payee and in charge of my disability and makes sure I don’t over save in our.joint account more than $2,000 dollars otherwise my SSI would be taken away. With a joint account which I accepted he can transfer money easily to me. I have a lot to learn and keep track of. My accounts, usernames, and passwords are in a composition notebook. Strictly for that purpose. I need to make an online account for my banking to keep track of things at the credit union as well. My mom is the one when I was a kid who taught me how to do that. My parents and family originally thought I was going to be a functional, thriving adult when I came of age and thought I just needed a little time. But I never proved I could take care of myself. My parents fought really hard to get me disability benefits. I recently had my wisdom teeth taken out and I needed to have my mom puree my food in a blender for me to eat. Soups, eggs, pasta, etc. Ironically I hadn’t used a blender in so long I forgot how to use it. I also don’t know how to use a manual can opener but I have learned to use an electric one. Basically there are many things I need to learn to take care of myself. My parents also come with me to my medical appointments to make sure I fully understand what the medical forms are asking and also understanding what the clinicians and doctors/nurses are telling me which I am partly grateful for an also to make sure my doctors don’t try to pressure me into procedures I do not need. Case in point my doctor wanted to do a Pap smear on me? Not necessary because I am not sexually active. Also for physical examinations I only use female doctors. I also need someone to be with me when I have shots or blood drawn because I do terribly with those medical procedures. Also I would not be functioning after fasting for blood drawing so driving myself would be a no go. I could go on but I have a lot to learn to take care of myself. I do schedule with times my parents are available appointments for my therapist and psychiatrist and mental health case manager. Being mentally disabled comes with a lot of obstacles I will have to overcome to be at least mostly independent. But there are some services like rides that I qualify for free rides to medical appointments through the state called pt1 and there is a program for a special on demand bus/van service which acts like a taxi for disabled people and brings you to public places and picks and drops you off at your residence.i have never even used public transportation alone but was with my cousin and her ex boyfriend almost a decade ago on the underground train in Boston visiting my cousin at college for the day. I need to find out more about these services so I can get around more on my own. Basically what people learned in their teens and twenties I have to figure out with help and guidance in my thirties so I can be an independent middle aged adult and elderly adult. I don’t want to end up in institutionalized care at all. I even wonder if I will move far away from my family ever as much as I want to move to the southwest USA. My mom is applying for adult Foster care tax free stipend because of my parents being my caregivers basically. I really screwed up my life and have to improve from this situation I am in.
In addition, my circadian rhythm is opposite of the societal norms. I am naturally a night owl and can spend most of the night for example reading, writing, drawing, etc. until like 4-5:30/6:00am, I don’t feel fully awake, creative, productive, and alert until the afternoon. Early afternoon is when I get a spike in energy and that’s when my body is ready to start waking up. Around 1 pm 12pm is like the borderline. I have extreme difficulty getting up during morning hours. Late morning at around 11-11:30 am is what I am aiming for eventually to start my day but I will be somewhat groggy. Mid late afternoon and evening is when I am at my most alert and productive. Late night into the early hours of the morning I am still awake and doing quiet reflective activities while everyone else in the house sleeps. When sunrise comes along then I am ready to settle down. If I am feeling extra tired I might go to bed by four or four thirty am. If. Not 5 am-6:00am is average. I have to take sleeping pills to help me go to sleep. My parents and clinicians think if I just go to bed earlier with sleeping pills then I should be able to get up earlier with energy in the morning. That didn’t work and middle school and high school were brutal.,College was better because you could pick later classes. Even if I go to bed at 12 or 1 am I still didn’t feel alert or productive in the morning waking up at 9:30
-10:00 am. Although there are many days I lounge in bed for hours after early afternoon and get out of bed while already awake at 3:00-4:30 pm because I don’t want to deal with life and I would just rather close my eyes and daydream for more hours. I am sad and lazy and want to stay in my warm, cozy, comfortable bed. But eventually I yank the covers off myself and get out of bed because I need to use the bathroom, eat, drink, and so on. I think I gave a really detailed visual of how messed up. I truly am. Also I learned of this concept called. A sleep. Chronotype which is a category of your sleep wage cycle and when you are most alert and energetic and when you lose stamina and energy. I’m a wolf chronotype. Which means I am naturally energetic in the later hours of the day and night and am naturally inclined to burn the midnight oil.,
In addition, my circadian rhythm is opposite of the societal norms. I am naturally a night owl and can spend most of the night for example reading, writing, drawing, etc. until like 4-5:30/6:00am, I don’t feel fully awake, creative, productive, and alert until the afternoon. Early afternoon is when I get a spike in energy and that’s when my body is ready to start waking up. Around 1 pm 12pm is like the borderline. I have extreme difficulty getting up during morning hours. Late morning at around 11-11:30 am is what I am aiming for eventually to start my day but I will be somewhat groggy. Mid late afternoon and evening is when I am at my most alert and productive. Late night into the early hours of the morning I am still awake and doing quiet reflective activities while everyone else in the house sleeps. When sunrise comes along then I am ready to settle down. If I am feeling extra tired I might go to bed by four or four thirty am. If. Not 5 am-6:00am is average. I have to take sleeping pills to help me go to sleep. My parents and clinicians think if I just go to bed earlier with sleeping pills then I should be able to get up earlier with energy in the morning. That didn’t work and middle school and high school were brutal.,College was better because you could pick later classes. Even if I go to bed at 12 or 1 am I still didn’t feel alert or productive in the morning waking up at 9:30
-10:00 am. Although there are many days I lounge in bed for hours after early afternoon and get out of bed while already awake at 3:00-4:30 pm because I don’t want to deal with life and I would just rather close my eyes and daydream for more hours. I am sad and lazy and want to stay in my warm, cozy, comfortable bed. But eventually I yank the covers off myself and get out of bed because I need to use the bathroom, eat, drink, and so on. I think I gave a really detailed visual of how messed up. I truly am. Also I learned of this concept called. A sleep. Chronotype which is a category of your sleep wage cycle and when you are most alert and energetic and when you lose stamina and energy. I’m a wolf chronotype. Which means I am naturally energetic in the later hours of the day and night and am naturally inclined to burn the midnight oil.,
31-35, F