For other people who struggle with severe depression how does it manifest for you when it gets really bad?

For me I go silent. I can't say as much or type well.
It dulls me and I am usually very bright and intelligent. I just can't express it as well. I am more afraid when I am usually brave and outgoing.

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

Feels like being encased in concrete. Can barely get out of bed to take care of basic hygiene needs. Contact from the outside world feels like a sunburn on my skin. I torture myself with negative thoughts about all it’s stolen from me. The only relief is sleep and sometimes I’ll take an extra pill just to become unconscious again.

People who say it’s laziness, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, happiness is a choice, or any other platitudes don’t have the slightest idea what it’s like when taking a shower might as well be climbing Mt. Everest.

SW-User

@OlderSometimesWiser I agree with you about your last paragraph 100 percent.
I am very sorry you experience this as well.

Tumbleweed · F

@OlderSometimesWiser No, love, it's definitely not lazy. I've watched my mother go through that for years. It's heartbreaking.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Tumbleweed One of the toughest things is the lack of compassion and understanding, especially among loved ones. I’ll never forget my then teenage niece saying to me, “God helps those who help themselves.” As if I didn’t already blame myself, feel extremely guilty, like I just wasn’t trying hard enough, that the depression reflected some moral failing on my part. Her words hit like a punch in the gut, despite how many psychiatrists and psychologists I’d already seen by that time. Don’t even blame people for not understanding, I barely understand it myself. But wow does stuff like that hurt and drive you deeper behind that concrete wall.

Tumbleweed · F

@OlderSometimesWiser My mom suffered for years. She missed out on alot of life. Winter was especially hard on her.