why i am dealing with mental health long after my youth

I've been in and out of therapy frequently but hasn't really helped but when i was being bullied i never told anyone out of fear that it would get worse but if you ever experience bullying tell someone that was my biggest regret in life that i wish i did tell someone about it. back in my youth i remember it wasn't until i was 13 when my life started going south i was bullied picked on especially for being a quiet kid in school i struggled to make friends and open up to people it wasn't easy growing up i became depressed developed anxiety and depression. i often isolated myself as much as i could and as i got older things only got worse i can't remember the last time I've felt any kind of emotions the trauma I've experienced growing up left a mark on me long after my youth which still effects me too this day to be honest with you it's left me feeling dead inside feeling numb to my emotions and often became suicidal having multiple attempts throughout my life. i never fully healed from the trauma i experienced in my youth it still effects me long after my youth ended. my youth was where it all began for me it was the constant bullying i experienced in my youth that was the turning point where things got worse for me.