Update part 1 of coping with PTSD related nausea...
Thanks for all the feedback. I am actually worse than yesterday, BUT all the notes seem to be leading me in the right direction to recover hopefully. I am posting to document my struggle with PTSD related nausea as a means to help my recovery and maybe help others who may be going through the same situation.
The only positive side I can find so far is that I most likely will be losing weight from my nausea, dizziness, and to say it nicely "needing to go to the bathroom"#2 constantly so to speak...I am studying online resources on how to cope with anxiety related nausea, thanks to everyone telling me to do so.
I decided to write down why I am so traumatized by what happened to me and how I got my PTSD. 1) i was riding on a cross country bus ride which got delayed 6 hours. People were getting angry and shoving matches were happening in the bus station. There were many junkies and mentally ill people inside the bus station. The bus company announced that ticketholders of the delayed bus would be able to reschedule a new ride. I saw the bus driver shouting and speaking to passengers in a disrespectful way. I decided that I would not feel safe riding in such an overcrowded bus. Considering that the bus that got stranded already smelled like excrement despite the fact that I placed air fresheners on my seat and wore a face mask. 2) I phoned my family and asked them if they could find a hotel because I couldn't find any vacancies online. I was dishevelled from my trip. I begged my family to tell the hotel i was dishevelled and not a homeless person. I told my family that i won't go to the hotel unless the clerks would be informed that i was dishevelled but not a homeless person. 4) my family was so lazy. They lied and told me that they told the clerk. The clerk was not warned. 5) my phone was almost dead from a weak battery. 6) when I got to the hotel, the clerk was very hostile. The clerk did think I was homeless since my family never bothered to tell him. The clerk threatened to have me removed from the property. I left in fear of getting attacked by hotel security. 7) it was 1 or 3AM in the morning. 8) i walked into the rough areas of a downtown city in the dark.9) i found a bar. The bar thought i was homeless too. I had all my luggage from my trip so they thought i was truly homeless. 10) i was in front of the bar trying to recharge my phone which was at 5% battery life. I didn't know where else to go I had given up looking for a hotel. 11) this man fooled me into thinking I broke his phone. 12) i gave him $50 . I thought regardless of whether the phone broke, I told him I was lost, and if he could help me and look out for me in a city where I had nowhere to go. 13) he lied and stole my phone. He threatened me into giving him and his friends money. 14) i had to walk around town until 5:45 am. Nobody believed my story. Since I had always spoke to my family via Viber and we only had a Malfunctioning landline at our home, i couldn't really talk to my family. I was at that point too hysterical to bother calling my folks anymore. So any passerby assumed i was a junkie. 15) i begged to get a room in a hotel. 16) the hotel had a confusing name. There was no address printed in my room except for tiny lettering which I didn't see on the hotel phone. It was super tiny. There was no address printed anywhere else. Even my hotel receipt which was 3 pages long only had the address in tiny writing on the last page. There were four branches of the hotel in that town. They all had similar names. 17) i called the police from my hotel which had a confusing name. I got the address wrong twice. 18) the police dispatcher was furious at the third call and assumed I was a prank caller. 19) by the time the police officer arrived he was furious. I tried to apologise but he was furious. 20) he didn't really want to help. He was the same ethnicity as my robber. I am a different ethnicity from both of them. The police officer was sarcastic and made racial comments against me. I forgot to mention that the robber forced his hands into my pocket and that I was intimidated into giving money. The police officer then told me that I donated my money (because i forgot to mention the robber put his hands in my pocket and i was scared if I didn't give money worse things would happen.)21 the bus company wouldn't give me a new bus ticket even though I was entitled to reschedule.
Now i am suffering from PTSD. I went to a church group this morning to hopefully make friends and seek advice. They were civil. I have never been there before so I accept that they may be cautious about being too friendly with a newcomer. I got the impression they were sort of cultish anyways. So I left and didn't bother to say goodbye after services. The only good thing that has happened today is I got an Uber ride home in a shiny Ford Mustang. My dead father had one of the original Mustangs. Maybe I'm a little superstitious but I hope it was a sign that he is watching me and trying to show that things wil get better. I am crying while I am typing this. As I started typing this whole post, I took Bonin the medicine. My nausea has decreased after the 30 minutes I have taken to type this entire entry.
Okay. I have finished typing for now. Thanks to anybody who reads this and is willing to leave positive feedback. Funny thing is that i cried 4 times when I was at the church group. I feel that they probably thought I was valid but too much trouble to help...then again, I look like a hippy.
The only positive side I can find so far is that I most likely will be losing weight from my nausea, dizziness, and to say it nicely "needing to go to the bathroom"#2 constantly so to speak...I am studying online resources on how to cope with anxiety related nausea, thanks to everyone telling me to do so.
I decided to write down why I am so traumatized by what happened to me and how I got my PTSD. 1) i was riding on a cross country bus ride which got delayed 6 hours. People were getting angry and shoving matches were happening in the bus station. There were many junkies and mentally ill people inside the bus station. The bus company announced that ticketholders of the delayed bus would be able to reschedule a new ride. I saw the bus driver shouting and speaking to passengers in a disrespectful way. I decided that I would not feel safe riding in such an overcrowded bus. Considering that the bus that got stranded already smelled like excrement despite the fact that I placed air fresheners on my seat and wore a face mask. 2) I phoned my family and asked them if they could find a hotel because I couldn't find any vacancies online. I was dishevelled from my trip. I begged my family to tell the hotel i was dishevelled and not a homeless person. I told my family that i won't go to the hotel unless the clerks would be informed that i was dishevelled but not a homeless person. 4) my family was so lazy. They lied and told me that they told the clerk. The clerk was not warned. 5) my phone was almost dead from a weak battery. 6) when I got to the hotel, the clerk was very hostile. The clerk did think I was homeless since my family never bothered to tell him. The clerk threatened to have me removed from the property. I left in fear of getting attacked by hotel security. 7) it was 1 or 3AM in the morning. 8) i walked into the rough areas of a downtown city in the dark.9) i found a bar. The bar thought i was homeless too. I had all my luggage from my trip so they thought i was truly homeless. 10) i was in front of the bar trying to recharge my phone which was at 5% battery life. I didn't know where else to go I had given up looking for a hotel. 11) this man fooled me into thinking I broke his phone. 12) i gave him $50 . I thought regardless of whether the phone broke, I told him I was lost, and if he could help me and look out for me in a city where I had nowhere to go. 13) he lied and stole my phone. He threatened me into giving him and his friends money. 14) i had to walk around town until 5:45 am. Nobody believed my story. Since I had always spoke to my family via Viber and we only had a Malfunctioning landline at our home, i couldn't really talk to my family. I was at that point too hysterical to bother calling my folks anymore. So any passerby assumed i was a junkie. 15) i begged to get a room in a hotel. 16) the hotel had a confusing name. There was no address printed in my room except for tiny lettering which I didn't see on the hotel phone. It was super tiny. There was no address printed anywhere else. Even my hotel receipt which was 3 pages long only had the address in tiny writing on the last page. There were four branches of the hotel in that town. They all had similar names. 17) i called the police from my hotel which had a confusing name. I got the address wrong twice. 18) the police dispatcher was furious at the third call and assumed I was a prank caller. 19) by the time the police officer arrived he was furious. I tried to apologise but he was furious. 20) he didn't really want to help. He was the same ethnicity as my robber. I am a different ethnicity from both of them. The police officer was sarcastic and made racial comments against me. I forgot to mention that the robber forced his hands into my pocket and that I was intimidated into giving money. The police officer then told me that I donated my money (because i forgot to mention the robber put his hands in my pocket and i was scared if I didn't give money worse things would happen.)21 the bus company wouldn't give me a new bus ticket even though I was entitled to reschedule.
Now i am suffering from PTSD. I went to a church group this morning to hopefully make friends and seek advice. They were civil. I have never been there before so I accept that they may be cautious about being too friendly with a newcomer. I got the impression they were sort of cultish anyways. So I left and didn't bother to say goodbye after services. The only good thing that has happened today is I got an Uber ride home in a shiny Ford Mustang. My dead father had one of the original Mustangs. Maybe I'm a little superstitious but I hope it was a sign that he is watching me and trying to show that things wil get better. I am crying while I am typing this. As I started typing this whole post, I took Bonin the medicine. My nausea has decreased after the 30 minutes I have taken to type this entire entry.
Okay. I have finished typing for now. Thanks to anybody who reads this and is willing to leave positive feedback. Funny thing is that i cried 4 times when I was at the church group. I feel that they probably thought I was valid but too much trouble to help...then again, I look like a hippy.
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