Mental Health

i have decided i need to do something about my mental health which also means i will be homeless next week, i am currently housed by a charity ( i have my own room but need to volunteer for them 40 hours a week) i struggle with work especially having to face the public taking donations etc, anxiety struggles and abuse for not accepting unsuitable items etc. my back hurts a lot, my mental health is not good, i cannot work with the public (i would never work in retail) a colleague got annoyed because i made a mistake and i was ready to leave because i get emotional easily, i just want to be left alone and have time out, i am going to try to get into a hostel or ymca and get some support etc. i cannot claim benefits while i am here either which is hard as i am entitled to universal credit. i just cannot live in place like this anymore, i have dark thoughts and get depressed, i am having a few beers today because my head is a shed, its been nearly a month since i have had a drink. anyone else been through similiar?

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Graylight · 51-55, F

You made an interesting statement: "I'm not mentally strong enough." So now you know where you need to first concentrate, right? If you can't hold on to what good comes your way, then having that good won't make any difference at all. We need our two feet under us and our lungs full with air to hit this world every day.

It sounds like your environment is detrimental to your mental wellbeing. Change it. Do whatever you have to within reason to get yourself to a better place. I'm in the US, were in addition to regular programs some organizations offer grants, free stay, works programs, social resources, etc. The need is fierce and the spots are few, but they exist. Maybe you have something like that available to you. A public library with internet connection can be better than an office.

You don't have to be a perfect fit with a place; you only need to get what you need from it and move on. Same with work; don't look for a career, look for something that'll let you lay your head on the pillow at night. And if you don't like people, steer clear of them; there are plenty "back of house" jobs around.

Lastly, and I can't suggest this strongly enough, get hooked into a good therapist or program. You whole being deserves to be healthy and such programs can often offer talk therapy, occupational therapy and resource for getting what you need. hang in there and good luck. You're in a place where you're seeking change. Follow through with action and take breaks when you need to. Good luck.