IDK what's wrong with me anymore
Ever since I moved here, I've been so restless and unfocused. I've been more productive than usual, no denying that; set up my apartment over the past couple of months and now I'm starting to redesign myself. But work has been made miserable because any time I'm sitting down there, I just wanna stand up. I could just look at spreadsheets in college and pensively study them to learn how they work and how to make them do what I want, but it feels like that ability has died, you know? I don't know how to move past that.
Soon after I get home, I put on these headphones and just listen to political commentary at double speed. What would I do without that expedited flow of information? Just listen to the silence? Spend like an hour on online shopping, searching for recipes, furiously searching for something to rush into and make to help me shave off a few pounds. By the time it's time for my shower, my ears are ringing, I've got this splitting headache, and I'm starting to see double, complete sensory overload. I laid in bed for an hour after covering my eyes, just waiting for it to die down enough to do anything again. I sorta wanted to message a friend of mine and get spicy, but I couldn't handle looking at my screen, soooo I just took care of it myself. Still, pretty refreshing.
Maybe I should see a psychiatrist about this sometime, but it might just be from being in an unfamiliar environment with all this noise pollution. I've always been really angry before this though; my one friend said they got on antipsychotics over that and I wonder if that's what they'd do for me. On the bright side, I think I figured out what was causing the health problem I mentioned in one of my previous posts, honestly it's so stupid that I feel embarrassed for ever thinking it was worth seeing a doctor over. Oh yeah, and my new bamboo broom arrived today, so I can finally clean this place up a little. (:
Soon after I get home, I put on these headphones and just listen to political commentary at double speed. What would I do without that expedited flow of information? Just listen to the silence? Spend like an hour on online shopping, searching for recipes, furiously searching for something to rush into and make to help me shave off a few pounds. By the time it's time for my shower, my ears are ringing, I've got this splitting headache, and I'm starting to see double, complete sensory overload. I laid in bed for an hour after covering my eyes, just waiting for it to die down enough to do anything again. I sorta wanted to message a friend of mine and get spicy, but I couldn't handle looking at my screen, soooo I just took care of it myself. Still, pretty refreshing.
Maybe I should see a psychiatrist about this sometime, but it might just be from being in an unfamiliar environment with all this noise pollution. I've always been really angry before this though; my one friend said they got on antipsychotics over that and I wonder if that's what they'd do for me. On the bright side, I think I figured out what was causing the health problem I mentioned in one of my previous posts, honestly it's so stupid that I feel embarrassed for ever thinking it was worth seeing a doctor over. Oh yeah, and my new bamboo broom arrived today, so I can finally clean this place up a little. (:
