For some odd reason I cannot feel touch, is that normal?
Long read:
Whenever I touch an object or person, I acknowledge their existence yet don’t feel any warmth nor attachment to them. It’s just there. When I was a child, I would become obessive to several objects like a blanket, toy, device, even a person, memory, etc.
I would feel attachment. I feel love for my family and friends but sometimes when someone passes away, it’s harder for me to shed tears. I do feel watery eyes and all, but my emotions are not always up to par. I feel desensitization, numb. In my middle to high school years, I felt a strong void. People talking to their friends felt like people talking to their friends. I didn’t feel the same way they felt. It’s not normal for me to not feel strong intense emotions. As a child I felt terrified of auto-flushing toilets, extreme heights, loud noises (thunder, vaccum cleaners) and at concerts (child-friendly ones like Disney on Ice and My Little Pony), people in costumes terrified me, tags on clothes automatically felt itchy on me whenever I wore them, and I was told I was only in diapers or with a shirt and no pants in my baby-toddler years. I hated wearing certain clothing when I was a child that I took them off in front of my classmates in my elementary school years. I was wearing shorts under, thankfully, but I felt so uncomfortable with a dress on at school.
I preferred pants, shorts, and jeans as opposed to skirts and dresses and sometimes skorts. I felt like an outcast. I felt unwanted in the cafeteria (lunch breaks), felt unwelcomed or uncomfortable in certain public places. I felt nobody wanted me there. I saw too many people in cliques or friend groups I wasn’t a part of. Younger me messed up my own social skills unintentionally and intentionally. I was already timid, introverted, and quiet.
One grade level, I was incredibly jealous of another girl who was even more timid than me; she was EXTREMELY almost as if she had selective mutism.
I was able to communicate well in social situations as opposed to her. She couldn’t do the things I did.
I despised her even when she was near (not talking) to my crush.
I was jealous of other girls my grade as they had the same crushes on my crush, but I was even more jealous that people got more attention than me.
I talked loudly inappropriately, talked to people even when they were focusing on their schoolwork, didn’t speak when questioned to appear more ‘shy’ than I was. It was to the point I didn’t communicate enough with people for attention purposes. Instead of talking,
I did other things like hand gestures. People probably thought I was either deaf or mute. I mostly had expressionless faces OR overly expressive faces—never in-between.
I strongly disliked myself forever that I don’t feel human at all. I know I’m human. Sometimes I don’t understand much human emotion even though everyone else says I do. I just didn’t talk much, and it affected my entire life basically.
What is there to do?
Objects feel like objects on my skin. I think that we humans are supposed to feel things…even on our own skin. I know when a bug is crawling on me. However, I don’t feel much sensation. I pluck it off, startled, or flinch it away or immediately kill it.
I don’t feel attachments easily as others do.
I know they feel strong emotions inside, but I don’t feel it as intense as they do. I was a highly sensitive person or at least I still think I am. I’m probably normal. I scored a 13 on a HSP test. I’m female, by the way. :/ Sorry that this is so long and in-depth.
Thank you for your time and patience & thank you for your input in advance. Take care, Stay safe <3
Whenever I touch an object or person, I acknowledge their existence yet don’t feel any warmth nor attachment to them. It’s just there. When I was a child, I would become obessive to several objects like a blanket, toy, device, even a person, memory, etc.
I would feel attachment. I feel love for my family and friends but sometimes when someone passes away, it’s harder for me to shed tears. I do feel watery eyes and all, but my emotions are not always up to par. I feel desensitization, numb. In my middle to high school years, I felt a strong void. People talking to their friends felt like people talking to their friends. I didn’t feel the same way they felt. It’s not normal for me to not feel strong intense emotions. As a child I felt terrified of auto-flushing toilets, extreme heights, loud noises (thunder, vaccum cleaners) and at concerts (child-friendly ones like Disney on Ice and My Little Pony), people in costumes terrified me, tags on clothes automatically felt itchy on me whenever I wore them, and I was told I was only in diapers or with a shirt and no pants in my baby-toddler years. I hated wearing certain clothing when I was a child that I took them off in front of my classmates in my elementary school years. I was wearing shorts under, thankfully, but I felt so uncomfortable with a dress on at school.
I preferred pants, shorts, and jeans as opposed to skirts and dresses and sometimes skorts. I felt like an outcast. I felt unwanted in the cafeteria (lunch breaks), felt unwelcomed or uncomfortable in certain public places. I felt nobody wanted me there. I saw too many people in cliques or friend groups I wasn’t a part of. Younger me messed up my own social skills unintentionally and intentionally. I was already timid, introverted, and quiet.
One grade level, I was incredibly jealous of another girl who was even more timid than me; she was EXTREMELY almost as if she had selective mutism.
I was able to communicate well in social situations as opposed to her. She couldn’t do the things I did.
I despised her even when she was near (not talking) to my crush.
I was jealous of other girls my grade as they had the same crushes on my crush, but I was even more jealous that people got more attention than me.
I talked loudly inappropriately, talked to people even when they were focusing on their schoolwork, didn’t speak when questioned to appear more ‘shy’ than I was. It was to the point I didn’t communicate enough with people for attention purposes. Instead of talking,
I did other things like hand gestures. People probably thought I was either deaf or mute. I mostly had expressionless faces OR overly expressive faces—never in-between.
I strongly disliked myself forever that I don’t feel human at all. I know I’m human. Sometimes I don’t understand much human emotion even though everyone else says I do. I just didn’t talk much, and it affected my entire life basically.
What is there to do?
Objects feel like objects on my skin. I think that we humans are supposed to feel things…even on our own skin. I know when a bug is crawling on me. However, I don’t feel much sensation. I pluck it off, startled, or flinch it away or immediately kill it.
I don’t feel attachments easily as others do.
I know they feel strong emotions inside, but I don’t feel it as intense as they do. I was a highly sensitive person or at least I still think I am. I’m probably normal. I scored a 13 on a HSP test. I’m female, by the way. :/ Sorry that this is so long and in-depth.
Thank you for your time and patience & thank you for your input in advance. Take care, Stay safe <3
18-21, F
