I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me

I consider love to be a positive and negative with its most kindness compassion and affection feeling it gave me once upon time lol Unselfishly loyal full of passion for the person who didnt love me back and never realised it untill the last second when he finally told me what I should have known, that he only loved me few months into our three-year relationship. Six months ago to this exact day i realised that i became someone i didnt recognize. I became someone nasty mean crazy jealous controlling obsessed and monstrous !!! Honestly unrequited love can make you a little crazy. I'm the first person to admit that I didn't handle the slow deterioration of my relationship well. I became overly jealous, increasingly demanding attention seeking and sometimes just plain mean. When I felt like he was slipping away, I reacted in anger, often hurling unfounded accusations at him or bursting into tears and he would usually smooth over any arguments, my worries and doubts by explaining how much he loves me and care for me. I was deeply in love with him, so I would value his words. By the time all came to an end i barely recognized myself. I was never the jealous girlfriend, and I pride myself on my ability to keep a cool head in frustrating situations. Suddenly, I was an emotional wreck who was filled with an overwhelming sense of frustration and anxiety at the slightest mistake. Sadly, that only made me want him even more because my sudden realization that I had transformed into an unidentifiable version of myself only made me want to cling to something/someone familiar. His actions throughout our relationship were clear signals that he wasn't in love with me and putting value on his words only intensified the pain when he finally dumped my sweet sorry crazy asswoman I have became hahaha, Yes it's funny now, but it wasn't then, bilieve me! One greatest lesson he gifted me in life though and God bless his LITTLE heart, is That ACTIONS REALLY DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! If someone isn't acting like they love you, you should always assume they don't love you, no matter how difficult that might be to admit it. The funny thing is now I can't say I regret loving him and my efforts for the relationship, yes loving someone who doesn't love you back is downright painful and hurtful but as i tell myself everyday "Risk is always involved when you're trying to achieve something great"! Love is a tricky thing and feelings are terribly confusing!
#thenewgal