I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me

I consider love to be a positive and negative with its most kindness compassion and affection feeling it gave me once upon time lol Unselfishly loyal full of passion for the person who didnt love me back and never realised it untill the last second when he finally told me what I should have known, that he only loved me few months into our three-year relationship. Six months ago to this exact day i realised that i became someone i didnt recognize. I became someone nasty mean crazy jealous controlling obsessed and monstrous !!! Honestly unrequited love can make you a little crazy. I'm the first person to admit that I didn't handle the slow deterioration of my relationship well. I became overly jealous, increasingly demanding attention seeking and sometimes just plain mean. When I felt like he was slipping away, I reacted in anger, often hurling unfounded accusations at him or bursting into tears and he would usually smooth over any arguments, my worries and doubts by explaining how much he loves me and care for me. I was deeply in love with him, so I would value his words. By the time all came to an end i barely recognized myself. I was never the jealous girlfriend, and I pride myself on my ability to keep a cool head in frustrating situations. Suddenly, I was an emotional wreck who was filled with an overwhelming sense of frustration and anxiety at the slightest mistake. Sadly, that only made me want him even more because my sudden realization that I had transformed into an unidentifiable version of myself only made me want to cling to something/someone familiar. His actions throughout our relationship were clear signals that he wasn't in love with me and putting value on his words only intensified the pain when he finally dumped my sweet sorry crazy asswoman I have became hahaha, Yes it's funny now, but it wasn't then, bilieve me! One greatest lesson he gifted me in life though and God bless his LITTLE heart, is That ACTIONS REALLY DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! If someone isn't acting like they love you, you should always assume they don't love you, no matter how difficult that might be to admit it. The funny thing is now I can't say I regret loving him and my efforts for the relationship, yes loving someone who doesn't love you back is downright painful and hurtful but as i tell myself everyday "Risk is always involved when you're trying to achieve something great"! Love is a tricky thing and feelings are terribly confusing!
#thenewgal

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rckt148 · 61-69, M

I have found out the hard way
When I act like I can't live without someone ,they treat me like crap
"I have you wrapped ,so now its on to a tiger I can't tame "
The more I acted like I didn't care ,just like you admit ,they more clingy she gets ,
The clearer you make it that no one ties me down ,the harder she tries to show she is not trying to ,she just wants whatever attention she can get
And I blame that on yall and you're games when it comes to me ,
Every time I confess how much I love them and would not want to live my life without them ,they do it EVERY TIME ,
I let my kids know how important they are and they are my world ,and in turn they let me know they need me too
Why can't a mate be like that ?,why are so many looking for the bad boys and not happy with a reliable man that are willing to do anything for them ?
These young men on here trying to school us old dogs that its a game and we have to know how to play it and pamper and woo women ..BS
Every woman I know that is secure in herself ,just wants a man that is a man
NO games ,no need to tie him down ,trust
All the women and men I know that have lasted 50 yrs plus
She trusted him and he trusted her
He went hunting and fishing with the guys ,playing pool and bowling
she went out once in a while with the girls
But every time a woman that is unhappy with her man gets into the mix
She starts trying to sow seeds of doubt on the other women that are happy with their men
I know several of mine were jealous because I help a lot of people ,and yes women too
and my habits were expensive ,but I have always been the provider ,so my family never did without because of my habits ,,I always made sure their needs were taken care of first .
But it seems like I just can't tell any of them how important they are to me
because just like you said ,when he kept you at arms length ,you wanted him more
And that is my experience ,the more you tell them no ,the more they want you
when you say I can't live without you ,you're getting dumped
I have 2 women in my life now that have told me "God told them " I am their next husband ,and "You will see "
Well one problem ,,He forgot to tell me
But the more I say NO ,I am happy single
The harder they try to prove they are the one I need ,
But I am still in love with my ex so I am not interested ,and now she wants back in my life after almost destroying me ,and telling me if I harmed myself or starved myself to death that was on me not her ..I was grieving I lost my Mom too so I was not trying to starve myself to death over her ,but I did want to die ,I loved her with every fiber in me ,and now I don't know it I can trust her ,I thought she was the one that would never hurt me ,but she nearly killed me ,,its bad when you love someone so much you have a heart attack over them ,,and they don't even care ,,"thats on you "
Now I see why some of my ex's said I was to clingy and they can't breath with me wanting so much attention ,2 women trying to compete for you ,it makes you want to run from both of them ,but they are good friends ,just damn ,let up ,I said NO .I still love my ex
"You can't be blessed today when you are still holding on to the past "
they say thats from God too .
I am a mans man ,,but I always look for it ,I know I am getting left eventually ,so I have actually asked them to warn me if I am to clingy
I just adore them and don't want to lose them ,and those are the ones that always do (they have the lost puppy and are tired of him time to move on )
Act like you don't care ,can't blow them away from you with dynamite
They need anxiety meds to take a trip with their Mom (I needed them too )
We couldn't stand being apart even for a day .so loosing her ,I am not over it yet .
My last ex ,,7 1/2 years she would not leave my side for a day
a million times a day "I love you ,can I have a kiss "
but the minute I say "our love must be a sin ,I love you more then God "
I knew that was stupid the moment I said it ,she changed right away
I don't know if that was history repeating itself
Or God showed me His is serious about that being jealous stuff
all I know is she left me and I am still not over it 8 yrs later
and now she has me messed up again ,I knew not to talk to her this would happen .I knew it

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Gypsy · 31-35, F

@rckt148 First off all thank you I did notice that you are a warrior and i respect that! Thank you very much for your blessings as well, I am doing very well actually, I bounced back to my lovely self and would be seeing him around christmas in the event we are both invited to. He moved on. He has a girlfriend now and he was kind enough to email me shortly after they met and let me know personally, I respected him a lot for that! I made it clear after that though that i did not want any further communication and we both kept that promise. I will be seeing with his new girlfriend at the party this christmas and I am actually very excited to see them both. I have no hate or love for him anymore. i feel very much indifferent now. He taught me amazing lessons about life and myself however the whole thing has left me a little frightened and love or a relationship is the least on my mind. I have been travelling for almost 2 months now and I am loving nature, new culture, new people, peace and sunshine! Life is great..Think starting to like being single a little too much hahaha.Miss independent! About time lol
I am REALLY enjoying your stories and that you're sharing. Thank you

rckt148 · 61-69, M

@Gypsy Glad you are happy ,and in time I hope you do find Mr Right and he shows you the love and respect you deserve
I was not the perfect husband or the greatest Dad ,but at least I got the chance to get my kids back ( I was a single Dad for 2 of my 3 girls )
They say I saved them (from an abusive step dad ) I say we saved each other
I learned a lot from my girl and they are still close to 3 of my ex's
So they were able to give me some insight
All of my ex's except 1 have asked to come back ,and I said no
The last one though ,except for leaving me when my Mom was dying
she was the best one of all of them
So I am thinking about asking her to marry me
But only if I know its Gods will
I am tired of messing up and being hurt
I am happy now ,my family keeps me content ,,I want someone to complete that
Not destroy me ,and my family again ..when Dad is nuts ,no one knows how to help me
I am the one everyone comes to when they have problems ,or want to come home
So when I am broken hearted ,my whole family suffers with me
I am not wanting any of that again ,,I am to old
I don't have all that many years left I can waste recovering
So if we get back together ,it will be the happily ever after ,,
Or I might end both of us ,,LOL ,,I'm playing ,I would let her go
That is all I have ever wanted was to make her happy ,and then I am
Have a blessed one ,please stay safe and drop me a line sometime and let me know you're alright ,and a few pics of all the fun you're having 🤗🤗❤️

Gypsy · 31-35, F

@rckt148 Awwww sounds like you really care for her ...I really hope you get the happily ever afterby the way nobody is perfect.. Yeah definitely If i am still using this app I will send you some happy snaps :)

Oneofthestormboys · 100+, M

Love is an enigma. It’s real, yet elusive for many. I’ve yearned for it all my life, and it kind of found me with lots of caveats. Real, yet elusive, as it’s in my hands then fades into the ether...

rckt148 · 61-69, M

@Oneofthestormboys the longest I have held on to one I really really love is 10 yrs
My sons Mom and I were together 15 yrs ,,but 7 were great .8 were hell
Its like she had to break the record ,then make me pay for making her love me ,so she stayed 8 more years just so no one else could have me

Gypsy · 31-35, F

@Oneofthestormboys Love depends on reciprocity you have to give in order to take

Gypsy · 31-35, F

@rckt148 All we can do is follow how we feel in the moment, and try to take our brains along for the bumpy ride that is literally every romantic relationship so it seems

FORMERLYbatovn · 56-60, M

I commend you on owning up and taking responsibility for your errors and part in what sounds like a very painful few years. Love is a difficult thing to understand and as I get older and have been married a long time(30 yrs), I'm finding that every person and every marriage/relationship is very different. I hope that You've grown and learned and will recognize those things if they ever begin to reappear. I pray you find a true soulmate and that you find true powerful unconditional love and that it's returned back to you. Life is a constant learning and growing experience....congrats on a major lesson at a young age. Best wishes for your future