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What to do when your girlfriend is hesitant to be intimate?

I've been speaking with my girlfriend for about 1 year, and we've been exclusive for about 7 months. Things have been going pretty good and I really like her. We both currently live with our parents. Not because we can't afford our own places, we both have reasons that are too long for me to go into. Just know we are both financially stable. We often go out to restaurants and do certain activities such as bowling, movies etc... Most of the time I pay, but sometimes she pays. The biggest issue has been intimacy, it's nonexistent. We have kissed, cuddled up at park, movie theater and other places. Because we both live with our parents, and we both have really religious parents, we are unable to go to each other's houses. I've suggested us getting a hotel, but she always says, "I'll let you know" or "We will see". I've brought this topic up before and she gets uncomfortable when I do. At the end of the day, we are adults and intimacy should be part of our relationship. She tells me that she is waiting for the right person to have intercourse with (she told me she is a virgin), I am not. She mentioned if it happens it happens between us. Honestly, I feel like she doesn't really like me or else it would have happened already. I saw the signs and chose to ignore them because I really like her, and she has a lot of great qualities. But my brain is telling me I might be wasting my time. And she is only using me to go out and have fun. I feel I need to have this conversation with her one more time and be very direct and let her know if she is waiting for marriage, she needs to let me know that. So, I am not wasting my time. I've never had to wait 7 months or more to be intimate with a partner, and I would say I have been really patient. Just need advice on how I should proceed. We are going out tonight and I want to bring it up. She currently lost her grandma and has been dealing with family and work issues. So I am thinking maybe I should wait.

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iamnikki · 31-35, F

The biggest issue has been intimacy, it's nonexistent. We have kissed, cuddled up at park, movie theater and other places

Cuddling and kissing is intimacy. I'm assuming you mean sex.

At the end of the day, we are adults and intimacy should be part of our relationship.

That is your expectation, which is fine, but what you stated in the quote above is not a fact. Again, assuming by "intimacy", you mean sex...

I've brought this topic up before and she gets uncomfortable when I do.

So then stop pressuring her about it and find someone else. There are plenty of sluts in this world who will sleep with you the first night you meet her. Your female friend doesn't seem to be one, so what's the problem?

She tells me that she is waiting for the right person to have intercourse with

Again, stop pressuring her if she told you she is waiting. She gave you that information. If you are not willing to wait, then move on.

❗I said what I said and I will not argue with anyone in these comments about it.
Argue with yourself.

NativePortlander1970 ·

@iamnikki Well said

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@iamnikki Where did I say I wanted her to sleep with me the first night? If I did not like her and just wanted sex, why would I spend 7+ months taking her out and getting to know her. I did leave her before, and SHE was the one who contacted me wanting to get back together because she liked how I treated her.

NativePortlander1970 ·

@thegreathope1 It's all over your post, she even quoted you.

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@NativePortlander1970 Where? show me?

NativePortlander1970 ·

@thegreathope1 Like I said, she quoted you.

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@NativePortlander1970 so quote it again

NativePortlander1970 ·

@thegreathope1 Once again, read her comment

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@thegreathope1 Where did I say you said you wanted to sleep with her in the first night?
My whole reasoning for using quotes was to avoid confusion like what's going on right now on this thread.
I quoted you.
You may want to re-read it

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@NativePortlander1970 once again quote it

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@iamnikki I am not pressuring anyone, I simply bringing the issue up. If she wants to wait for marriage or if I am not the right person she is looking for, let me know. Don't lead me on. We are both grown adults, she needs to make her intentions clear.

NativePortlander1970 ·

@thegreathope1 That says it right there, your only intentions are to screw her.

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@NativePortlander1970 Again, why would I wait 7 months just to screw someone. When I could have easily gotten it somewhere else. I saw more in her, that is why I stayed.

NativePortlander1970 ·

@thegreathope1 Yet by your initial post and what I circled, all you really want is sex, you're in it for the long haul for the conquest, most women know your kind, and she seems naive enough to not realize you're playing a long con.

cc: @iamnikki

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@thegreathope1 bringing up the issue repeatedly is pressure.

If she wants to wait for marriage or if I am not the right person she is looking for, let me know

The girl, according to you:

She tells me that she is waiting for the right person to have intercourse with

thegreathope1 · 31-35, M

@iamnikki This just proves my point 🤣. She needs to tell me straight up. Either she is waiting for marriage or I am not the right person. After 1 year of talking and 7 months of dating. One should know that.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@thegreathope1 yes, because you answered your own questions/concerns in your original post, which again, is all that I have ever quoted. 🤦🏾‍♀️

NativePortlander1970 ·

@iamnikki He's about as bright as a dark room.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@NativePortlander1970 yea, I see. And if he wasn't the original poster, I wouldn't have engaged in all that. I really thought I could help. Silly me, after all, I'm not a psychotherapist. 😄

ABCDEF7 · M

@thegreathope1 As you have asked for advice. I would advice you to just tell her few things clearly that you have posted here. A clear communications solves many problems. You both should be on same page. I hope this will help you both to clear out many things, and can save your time, and you will be able to invest your precious time with some relationship that can deliver faster material outcomes.

1. I've never had to wait 7 months or more to be intimate with a partner.
2. I feel, I might be wasting my time with you.
3. I think, you are only using me to go out and have fun.
4. I feel like you doesn't really like me or else it(sex) would have happened already.
5. You should clearly tell me if you are waiting for marriage before we can have sex?

All the Best !