When you’re trying to get over someone you were deeply involved with and the relationship abruptly ended…..

What things do YOU do in order to move on?
Knowing and realizing you’ll never hear from them again (at least not in that context or realm); do you pretend they never existed? That it all was a farce? Do you find ways to hate them in order to move on easier?
Just curious what mind set methods, compartmentalizing you have done that helped you move on…
And the gut and heart wrenching fade?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

FrozenWasteland · 61-69, M

Once I have decided that I love someone (which doesn't happen often) it would take a lot to change that. So much so that it's never happened. I can't imagine what would make me stop loving her.

To me, loving someone means wanting them to grow to be the best version of themselves that they can possibly be. If she is a better "her" without me in her world, then my way forward is to love her silently, from afar, hoping that she's growing into an even better "her".

No point in me being sad or, worse, bitter about something I can't change -- and if I ever truly loved her, why would I ever want anything but the best for her? Loving her isn't conditional on being loved back.

So I'll miss her and go on with life, but I don't try to stop thinking about her -- that's a lost cause anyhow. I just try to think positive thoughts. Better for the soul that way. Time makes that easier.

Yeah, I know. I'm weird as hell.

Kiesel · 56-60, M

@FrozenWasteland not weird at all. Your answer spoke to me quite a lot.

FrozenWasteland · 61-69, M

@Kiesel I know it's not an answer that necessarily suits a lot of people, but it has worked for me. Please don't take it as advice, though. Don't try this at home. No guarantees, express or implied. YMMV.

All the best to you.