I feel insecure.

Hi everyone.
I was in a relationship for 2 years, and almost 11 months ago, he left me without saying anything. After that, I had so many problems. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and I was desperate. Until recently, another guy with the same name as my ex asked me out. Well, I accepted but he left me too! I am not ugly, I have a job, I live in a good neighborhood, I am a PhD candidate at a very prestigious university. Why is this keep happening to me? I feel devastated and lonely. It is literally killing me.

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in10RjFox · M

PhD in what discipline?

The simple reason could be your traditional outlook to life that it must be guys who must ask gals out. It's this mentality that makes guys the bosses or employers, who hire and fire gals.

So rather than being sentimental , change your outlook to life. Get to a commanding position and start dictating.

It's like learning to drive and having your own car ... if not you have to wait for someone who passes by where you are, but may not be willing to have you in their car all the time, but only to drop you somewhere along the way to their destination.

Become the strong headed to call the shots. You can also make guys feel insecure and put them in the same state as you are.

Sherryblue27 · 26-30, F

@in10RjFox Wow, you explained very well. First of all, thank you for replying. I actually tried what you said but somehow it didn’t work. I don’t know what’s the problem, every road I go, I get to a dead end. I’m just thinking maybe there is something repelling about me.
I study microbiology btw.

in10RjFox · M

@Sherryblue27 It's all your mindset. We have nobody in life that we can resort to when we fall. So we have to gather ourselves and move on, whenever we fall. There is no such thing as dead-end as we can take a detour anytime. I was too in the same situation as yours at your age. In fact worse, as I am a guy. You can imagine how it would be. No girls would approach me and my work too was backend office work. It was online that changed my outlook.

So just chop down as many rather than waiting for pursuing one. Wait state is what is detrimental, as we lose time and our age keeps going and our market value goes down.

Don't discuss relationship or marriage... just expand your circle, without relying on anyone in particular.

Sherryblue27 · 26-30, F

@in10RjFox Thank you so much for sharing and guidance. I really appreciate it. I do my best, I try at least