Today I treated a refugee from Mali, and my heart hurt because I thought of the millions like him in the world.

And I felt very depressed and had the urge to apply again and volunteer with the NGO.

But I have loved ones now who count on me. I won't be only risking my own life and plans. And I am not sure an intention from desperation and despair is wise. I might relapse into the mental state I suffered for years, unable to accept helplessness.

I am sad for anyone who doesn't have the resources I have, the love, the hope and the care. And I wish I could fix it. I wish there was a way to absorb all the hurt in this cruel world.