My heart isnt broken , it feels more like stepped on

Stepped on and ground into the dirt. He cheated multiple times and i had no idea about them. No clue. Not too long ago I was freaking out about messages he had going on with a female about hooking up with her. I made friends with her. He tricked her by acting like he was divorced. He wont have to trick them anymore. Now he'll be telling the truth. I wonder what it will feel like for him having short 2 hour screws in motels and apartments and then coming home to nothing. No attractive smart wife at home that loves him, no child at home unless its his parenting time? 15 years of sharing your life with another traded in for what? I wonder how good the dating scene is when you are low income and 53 years old? Being low income isnt fun but at least we had each other, our family, our pets, our future. I dont want to leave but i cant live like this either.