@SW-User
No, I know what a crush is, I had one on a teacher once, I don't think about him much anymore, at least I don't think about how much I care about his well being still and how I'd be willing to give my life for his.Thinking about it, all I think of for a moment is how fast he made my heart race and that I just thought he was attractive.
It's different with the phys ed teacher, he never made my heart race, I didn't spend any amount of time thinking he was attractive and I liked him.It was a later realization I actually cared for him andat one point, I think I had even seen his fiance and it made me mad and jealous inside, I couldnt explain why to myself at the time and was in denial, now I know why when it's too late.But I still hope the best for him and his family because of my love for him.I didn't want him to act on anything, I just wanted it all to end on good terms, it didn't, it was anticlimactic and I had the sense he hated me and/or didn't care about me, that's where the pain stems.
