Many years ago

When I was 19 I fell for a 25 yo guy he was your typical bad boy drugs and alcohol. I did a few with him too I rebelled against strict parents. But I never ever injected anything. Six years later he started to inject amphetamine sulphate. He changed and became a different person. Far from the gentle natured guy I fell for. One night we had an argument and he pushed me. I wasn't sure if things would escalate so I left him. I missed him for 30 years and I married again twice. But my feelings for him never went away. So when we bumped into each other 30 years later and he said he still loved me I left my marriage to be with him. He no longer injected but still smoked weed and I did too for a while. Things were good for six years. Our bond became very strong. But I kept getting chest infections so I quit smoking. The problem is that the chest infections never stopped. He was always coughing and coughing stuff up and I have been getting ill over and over. During this time he had his left lower leg amputated due to being borderline diabetic and a smoker. I reluctantly asked him to move out and helped him get a new place where he would be looked after. But I have continued to get chest infections from him. I am at breaking point! He won't give up smoking and complains he is lonely. But my doctor is complaining coz I'm constantly needing antibiotics as is he. I have decided I just can't see him atleast until the weather is better and we can meet up outdoors. In the hope that the fresh air will stop me catching the infection again. I'm heartbroken, depressed, anxious and keep crying. He's my true love and I'm also angry. I gave up everything to be with him. Why can't he give up smoking? The doctors are even warning him he needs to. Right now hes very sick with a chest infection and I have it too. I don't want to lose what we have but he just can't love me as much as he says he does if he's letting this all happen. He say's he misses me and my cat. He does love me I know that but not enough. I just don't know what else to do.