How do you know someone still loves his/her ex?

I feel like my entire relationship is a lie.
It hurts a lot.
My BF still contacts his ex knowing it hurts me.

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Can I ask why it hurts you? Is his contact flirty? It's possible he just wants to remain friends with her as they did share some intimacies together.

IntelligentGirl2 · 26-30, F

@Richard65 It hurts me because i told him i wasnt going to be in a relationship with someone still attached with his past. And he lied.

Richard65 · M

@IntelligentGirl2 OK, lying isn't a good sign and I know I don't understand all the intricacies of your relationship. But to read that you don't want to be with someone attached to their past is puzzling. We are all attached to our past in many ways. If my partner told me up front that she was still friends with her ex and contacted them now and again, I'd be fine with that as I'd trust her. However, if he's lied, I understand your anxieties.

IntelligentGirl2 · 26-30, F

@Richard65 Yeah if it was healthy i wouldn't have any problems. But I feel manipulated and really dumb.

Richard65 · M

@IntelligentGirl2 don't feel dumb. You put your faith in your partner, which is how it should be. You did everything right. It's shame on him. Don't knock yourself down. He's the one who took advantage of your decency.