You breathe in their absense like air.. they miss you like a ghost and only want the love that you always felt.. but were to afraid to show.
They reached out before they vanished and you saw only confusing words and never asked if they were ok.
They confessed to you how they always felt and how important you were to them and all you could manage was a read message or a couple word reply.
You took years of building a relationship with them, and let it go so easily, and now you don't even know how much you almost had.
They would have given you a miracle but you thought you don't know how you could ever deserve it, so you rejected them.
That voice buried deep in your heart always keeping you from what you deserve.. once again filled you with fear of the unknown, in favor of the familure abuse and neglet you are so used to.
So you get what you think you deserve and they move on to the happiness that is the result of what they have always deserved.
You were nothing more than a deflector to point them to something better.
You will never know a love like that. The love of a lifetime.
You will always settle and convince yourself thats the best you can do.
But here i am thinking of you. Still here. Still the one i dream of. If only you knew i was here, now, reaching into the darkness for the true answer i always deserved but never got. The words from your heart, not your head.
