True love ???

I believe that the more self love and self acceptance and self awareness of our aspects we have, the less we project to other people. At that point, love is just love, there is no need for them to complete anything in us because we'd be whole ourselves.
Practically, that is a difficult if not impossible place to get to.
So when you become aware of a projection on the other person, pause and take it in and try accepting them for the trait they really are. Maybe you'll learn about yourself along the way.

It took a couple of years, maybe more, for my feelings for my future wife to change from strong attraction to strong love. I didn't love an ideal or a girl that I wanted her to be; I loved the real person whom I had grown to know and accept.

I think this is the majority of what many call love. Or what we imagine them to be. It it weren't' true, there wouldn't be so many divorces or break ups.

I think sometimes we may fall in love with the idea of who we think or want the person to be

this is interesting. Talking to someone older helps me not make ideas of who they could be bc they’re already old enough to do/have done those things

Nah I feel the opposite about my bf. He’s not my type on paper but he’s perfect to me. He’s not what I expected but what I needed 🥰