Random tidbits from my life
Some of these things might sound stupid to you but they in a way were important to me back then.
First memory I'm going to talk about was my little bunny shaped eraser. I had won it in class I think during a game and the teacher had this big jar of prizes to pick from. I chose this little bunny eraser. I treasured that thing and refused to ever use it because I didn't want to ruin or hurt it. I was the kid who felt bad and guilty about eating peeps too because they were shaped like ducks and were cute and I didn't want to hurt them. That little kid grew up to be a vegetarian. See I told you it shaped who I am as an adult. I also remember being very upset when I rescued a tiny little frog from being stuck in this rotting rubber seal on the garage door. I showed my friend next door and he held it only to scream drop it on the concrete and step on it thus killing the little frog. I remember being so heart broken and upset with him. I never did drop that against him.
Second memory I'm going to talk about was my favorite toy growing up. It was this little rubber pumpkin and it had bendable arms and legs. I have no idea where it came from or how I got it but I also treasured that thing. His name was Pumpkin Man I know how original but I was a kid cut me some slack. Eventually it's limbs got ripped off I think I may have torn them off or they broke off I don't remember. Anyways I took him wherever I went including school. I built him furniture out of construction paper in my desk and he lived in there when he was at school with me. He used to sleep next to me in bed too. I used to freak out whenever I couldn't find him. One summer we were moving to yet again somewhere else and for whatever reason I decided to bury him in the backyard. I bet he's still buried and I think I remember the location but I highly doubt whoever lives there now would appreciate a grown ass man breaking into their backyard to dig up their yard. He marked my love of Halloween and all things spooky and I grew up to be the weird alt kid in school. Hell I'm still alt and plan on keeping it that way. See yet again another precursor to what I would become.
Third memory I'm going to talk about was the fact that I was a seriously lonely kid who didn't have many friends. When you moved around as much as I did you didn't get a chance to make lasting friendships. I had made my own friends via paper and pen. I drew these people and I gave them all names and backstories and character quirks. I would sit on my bed with my little drawings and talk to them and make them all interact with one another and with me. It sounds psycho but this is what I used to do when I was a kid. I took it even furthur and drew their parents and siblings and homes and they all got backstories and it became detailed as hell. I think I was close to creating an entire town because I remember writing rules and everything everyone had to follow and of course i was the mayor. My mom used to laugh at me over it all but she kept buying me the paper and crayons to make it happen. When you have no friends and have a parent that didn't really spend a ton of time with you this is what you resort to. I was also left home alone a lot sometimes for over a day.
Fourth memory was one christmas I had decided to make everyone homemade presents wrapped in homemade wrapping paper. I made my mom a card with a drawing I made of her in it that I had wrapped up as nicely as a kid could do. I handed it to her all excited and she barely even looked at it. She said that;s nice and sat it down somewhere. I doubt she even opened it but I know for a fact it ripped my heart out and wrecked my day. It wasn't the last time she did that kind of thing to me either.
Fifth memory getting screamed at by one of my moms various boyfriends over the years. This one in particular stuck out to me because I remember him being drunk and he was making me fetch him this and that. I got told to toss him a bag of chips. I did and it missed his lap and hit him in the mouth. He got angry and whipped them at me making the bag explode all over because it had opened up from where it was folded down. I got called stupid and all sorts of lovely things while my mom laughed and I was the one cleaning up the mess because I know they weren't going to and besides it was my fault right? Oh don't worry I was always talked down to growing up. I was always told I was stupid, worthless, pathetic and a burden.
Sixth and final memory of the night I was fed moldy or spoiled food sometimes. I got sandwiches made me moldy cheese before and one time I had a bologna sandwich that I had eaten a few bites of and noticed that the edge of the bologna was turning green on one end. There was another time my mom made hotdogs for dinner and they tasted weird. I told her they tasted weird and she yelled at me telling me to shut up and eat them anyway. She must have thought I was being whiny and it wasn't until she bit into one that she understood what I meant. Pizza sitting out on top of the counter for 2 or 3 days? It's fine just eat it. We never refridgerated condiments either. Mustard and ketchup were always out and she would leave out miracle whip too.It's probably why I can eat just about anything and not get sick much or why my immune system kicks ass.
First memory I'm going to talk about was my little bunny shaped eraser. I had won it in class I think during a game and the teacher had this big jar of prizes to pick from. I chose this little bunny eraser. I treasured that thing and refused to ever use it because I didn't want to ruin or hurt it. I was the kid who felt bad and guilty about eating peeps too because they were shaped like ducks and were cute and I didn't want to hurt them. That little kid grew up to be a vegetarian. See I told you it shaped who I am as an adult. I also remember being very upset when I rescued a tiny little frog from being stuck in this rotting rubber seal on the garage door. I showed my friend next door and he held it only to scream drop it on the concrete and step on it thus killing the little frog. I remember being so heart broken and upset with him. I never did drop that against him.
Second memory I'm going to talk about was my favorite toy growing up. It was this little rubber pumpkin and it had bendable arms and legs. I have no idea where it came from or how I got it but I also treasured that thing. His name was Pumpkin Man I know how original but I was a kid cut me some slack. Eventually it's limbs got ripped off I think I may have torn them off or they broke off I don't remember. Anyways I took him wherever I went including school. I built him furniture out of construction paper in my desk and he lived in there when he was at school with me. He used to sleep next to me in bed too. I used to freak out whenever I couldn't find him. One summer we were moving to yet again somewhere else and for whatever reason I decided to bury him in the backyard. I bet he's still buried and I think I remember the location but I highly doubt whoever lives there now would appreciate a grown ass man breaking into their backyard to dig up their yard. He marked my love of Halloween and all things spooky and I grew up to be the weird alt kid in school. Hell I'm still alt and plan on keeping it that way. See yet again another precursor to what I would become.
Third memory I'm going to talk about was the fact that I was a seriously lonely kid who didn't have many friends. When you moved around as much as I did you didn't get a chance to make lasting friendships. I had made my own friends via paper and pen. I drew these people and I gave them all names and backstories and character quirks. I would sit on my bed with my little drawings and talk to them and make them all interact with one another and with me. It sounds psycho but this is what I used to do when I was a kid. I took it even furthur and drew their parents and siblings and homes and they all got backstories and it became detailed as hell. I think I was close to creating an entire town because I remember writing rules and everything everyone had to follow and of course i was the mayor. My mom used to laugh at me over it all but she kept buying me the paper and crayons to make it happen. When you have no friends and have a parent that didn't really spend a ton of time with you this is what you resort to. I was also left home alone a lot sometimes for over a day.
Fourth memory was one christmas I had decided to make everyone homemade presents wrapped in homemade wrapping paper. I made my mom a card with a drawing I made of her in it that I had wrapped up as nicely as a kid could do. I handed it to her all excited and she barely even looked at it. She said that;s nice and sat it down somewhere. I doubt she even opened it but I know for a fact it ripped my heart out and wrecked my day. It wasn't the last time she did that kind of thing to me either.
Fifth memory getting screamed at by one of my moms various boyfriends over the years. This one in particular stuck out to me because I remember him being drunk and he was making me fetch him this and that. I got told to toss him a bag of chips. I did and it missed his lap and hit him in the mouth. He got angry and whipped them at me making the bag explode all over because it had opened up from where it was folded down. I got called stupid and all sorts of lovely things while my mom laughed and I was the one cleaning up the mess because I know they weren't going to and besides it was my fault right? Oh don't worry I was always talked down to growing up. I was always told I was stupid, worthless, pathetic and a burden.
Sixth and final memory of the night I was fed moldy or spoiled food sometimes. I got sandwiches made me moldy cheese before and one time I had a bologna sandwich that I had eaten a few bites of and noticed that the edge of the bologna was turning green on one end. There was another time my mom made hotdogs for dinner and they tasted weird. I told her they tasted weird and she yelled at me telling me to shut up and eat them anyway. She must have thought I was being whiny and it wasn't until she bit into one that she understood what I meant. Pizza sitting out on top of the counter for 2 or 3 days? It's fine just eat it. We never refridgerated condiments either. Mustard and ketchup were always out and she would leave out miracle whip too.It's probably why I can eat just about anything and not get sick much or why my immune system kicks ass.
46-50, M
