Did anyone feel life is really empty in the 40’s ?

No amount of achievement can make me feel better .Its like life is just as it says -Life.
Just lead on .Just live.
Sparks are missing .Or sparks might excite you but the duration is so short that it extinguishes just as quick.
Same mundane life with no room for change .And if you change forcibly that backfires just as fast .
Excitement you want to chase but when you do get that ,you actually want to run away from it .Because all you want is peace.
Yet when its full of peace you chase something more meaningful or sparkly yet you can’t handle that .

So it becomes funnier because you really don’t know what you want.Is it the excitement??is it the peace??Is it newness ?is it the old habits ?
Is it novelty ?Is it a change?
Is it nothing ?
Is it merely nothing ?