A day of excess that i wont feel

Why do we do it?
Indulge our senses and wants to abandon..... when ultimately we feel fuck all of it

Is it a "cancel each other out thing"? - the 'up' with the 'down' leaves us with some weird equation of 'normal' yeah?

Is it that one extreme balances th' other and we end up somewhere numbly inbetween?.....and that's ok?

Fuck

Is it a modern First world indulgence we pity outselves in and feel justified?

Shame

Death, Loneliness, insecurity...can it all be anesthesiatised with enough credit card exercise, fast food and *insert favorite drug or addictive passtime* + passively/aggresively being pussies online?

Soothe those feelings with fake neuro chemicals, numb that shit with Amazon and Shein.
Abate feeling them with political argument and religious selfishness

Grrrr baby !💪

Keep that life shiny and 'follower friendly' while you cry inside.

Is this where we are at?

Is this who we are?

Porning out a forced second hand version of 'self love' that we only accept if its validated by *likes* from other people we dont really know.....but we convince ourselves we do?

Fuck me

What have we become?

Hermits with groupies?
Keyboard egomaniacs?

What game are we playing?

And are you the shoe or the racecar?

Roll a nat 20 to win....

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Bexsy

You speak what my soul thinks…but my brain and mouth can’t always find the words.

Words are your superpower, Oogie

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Bexsy

@OogieBoogie can i still just hug you?

NudasPriest

@OogieBoogie Shit, still Oogie. That's a big thing to deal with. So, hugs from me too.

bookerdana · M

@OogieBoogie I'm so sorry....misread the post

OogieBoogie · F

@Bexsy Dont ....ill cry.

And im so angry and selfish i don't want to.

But....from you.....id allow myself to fall to pieces.
Jist for a monent

Thank you.
You are terribly perceptive.

And i appreciate that.

Bexsy

@OogieBoogie you can scream into my hug and cry

Even for a moment

OogieBoogie · F

@bookerdana nope, you got it spot on👍

OogieBoogie · F

@Bexsy ta.

Means a lot

fun4us2b · M

@OogieBoogie Sorry about your mum...they are a blessing to have to such an age and we will never forget them. After all - they knew us, before we knew us....don't think 2x about it - you deserve time to mourn...

bookerdana · M

@OogieBoogie Honest,I'm sorry🫂 leave space for grieving for yrself

OogieBoogie · F

@fun4us2b there is no mourning here. I need no sorry.but thanks anyways.

I am truly happy she's left this world.

Her heart wanted to leave years ago.... she's just been morally waiting it out.

She's free.
And im so happy for her.

Its my siblings.
I don't get them.
They dont get me
.... All of us are some sort of "autistic' and none of us *gel* together.

I s'pose im just wishing we did🤷‍♀

... especially at times like this.

OogieBoogie · F

@bookerdana im not grieving over her at all.

Its more a rant about my siblings.

We never get together.

We have a chance to.

And they arent.

And im drinking and reflecting and projecting.
....and randomly ranting 🙄

fun4us2b · M

@OogieBoogie They might also wish that - maybe some common ground somewhere? maybe they feel like you do too? but history is hard to undo...you're the best one to know how to guard your own heart...

bookerdana · M

@OogieBoogie rant away....we all need it..or put on music

OogieBoogie · F

@fun4us2b in honesty - im trting to stay open.

But it's hard when others don't communicate their heart.

🤷‍♀

fun4us2b · M

@OogieBoogie Probably the hardest thing to do, if it was never done before...and words are only that...you all don't really have to say everything all at once...there's time....